A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The prompt superficially presents the results of a recent study that shows that the increase of the commercial use of the chemical substance, Salicylates, has a correlation with the decline in the frequency of headache cases observed in the residents of Mentia. The author of the prompt concludes that, as the use of salicylates increase even more in the future, owing to its newly found use as flavor additive in food, the number of headache cases in Mentia will wane even more. However, for this argument to be reasonable, several questions need to be answered.
First of all, did the study show a causation between Salicylate intake and headaches? The author of the prompt seems to assume that because the study shows a correlation between the two factors, this must imply a causation as well. The author does not mention any intricate detail of the study, even very necessary ones. For instance, the author does not mention if the study focused on people who had consumed salicylate-containing food. For all we know, the study has discovered a correlation between the proliferating use of salicylates and reduced headache in people. If the people in question did not consume Salicylates from commercial food significantly, then it can be said that the correlation was possibly caused by some other factors, and not because of the remedial effects of salicylate. Moreover, even if we assume that the study ensured people consuming salicylates as its subjects, the decline in headaches over the twenty years could just as well be caused by other factors. Take for example the rapid advances in medical sciences and treatments that has most definitely occured during such an extended period of time. Therefore, if the study fails to show any direct causation between the two factors, the author's conclusion, that an increase in salicylate usage commercially will reduce the frequency of headache cases, is not correct.
Secondly, assuming that there is a remedial effect of salicylates, will the residents of Mentia consume the new food products? The author assumes that the food products that will now contain salicylates as flavors will be significantly consumed by the residents of Mentia. If, let's say, these new flavored food products are not made available in the stores of Mentia, or if these new food products receive a widespread disapproval from the residents, then the increased use of the chemical will not change any remedial benefits that these residents may have achieved from their existing use of salicylate.
Moreover, there is no evidence provided in the prompt that the increased use of this chemical will not backfire and cause a detrimental effect on the residents' health. That is another question that could arise regarding the author's conclusion.
In conclusion, the author of the prompt makes an unwarranted prediction that an increase of usage of salicylates will dwindle the headache cases of Mentia. He uses the results of a study to backup his claim. However, as elaborated in the previous paragraphs, some questions need to be answered before the author's argument can be considered reasonable.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2566 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.041 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.824 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.325 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 420, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly found use as flavor additive in food, the number of headache cases in Mentia w...
^^
Line 3, column 1121, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...initely occured during such an extended period of time. Therefore, if the study fails to show ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1225, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... causation between the two factors, the authors conclusion, that an increase in salicyl...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1356, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ency of headache cases, is not correct. Secondly, assuming that there is a remed...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 151, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'residents'' or 'resident's'?
Suggestion: residents'; resident's
...e and cause a detrimental effect on the residents health. That is another question that c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 225, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...question that could arise regarding the authors conclusion. In conclusion, the autho...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 188, Rule ID: CAN_BACKUP[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to back up'?
Suggestion: to back up
... Mentia. He uses the results of a study to backup his claim. However, as elaborated in th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 306, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...uestions need to be answered before the authors argument can be considered reasonable. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2628.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16306483301 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90456613174 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438113948919 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 846.0 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.9307735861 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.4 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.45 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.25 5.70786347227 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26310060785 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906571497066 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.064922737958 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144863425038 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495867211439 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.