A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The results of a twenty-year study that was recently published suggests that there is a correlation between the rise in commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches in Mentia. These results has spurred health experts to predict that with the likely possibility of a further increase in the use of Salicylates as a food preservative, there will be a further decline in the average number of headaches. However, there are three questions that need to be considered before there can be a conclusion that Mentia residents will suffer less headaches in the future as a result of Salicylates as a food preservative.
Firstly, what is the assurance that Salicylates actually causes a reduction in headaches? Is it possible that despite being of the same chemical family of aspirins does not actually have the same effects on human beings? For example, ethanol and methanol are both of the hydrocarbon family, however, while ethanol can be used to prepare performs, methanol should never be used in such a process as it is harmful to the human skin. Therefore, is it not possible that Salicylates and aspirin have different effects on the human body and such should not be used interchangeably? If this is true, then the study and prediction are faulty. A scientific research should be done to substantiate the effects of Salicylates on the human body.
Also, even if Salicylates can be used to cure headaches in the human body, are we sure that it still holds this property when it is used as a food preservative? The passage states that many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, however, it would seem that they have not been effective as headache curers in that natural state, hence, what study has been undertaken to prove that Salicylates when used as a food preservative can offer medical relieve to headaches? If there is no evidence to back up this claim, it is possible that the health experts have predicted too hastily.
Finally, is it not possible that the foods that the food processing companies want to use Salicylates as a preservative are not popularly eaten in Mentia? If that is true, would that mean that an increase in the use of Salicylates as a food preservative would have a marginal effect on the Mentia residents? The author of this study fails to adequately inform us of data that considers this possibility, hence, if this stands true, then the conclusion that there will be a decline in headaches in Mentia due to an increase in Salicylates’ usage as a preservative is faulty.
Conclusively, the prediction and argument of this passage is considerably flawed as it is based on some unsubstantiated assumptions. Therefore, for this passage to hold true, these assumptions have to be researched methodologically through a scientific process. The questions in this passage have to be researched upon before a proper evaluation of the prediction can be done.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2383 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.853 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.955 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.821 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 232, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'have', 'haven'.
Suggestion: have; haven
...r of headaches in Mentia. These results has spurred health experts to predict that ...
^^^
Line 1, column 572, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun headaches is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...usion that Mentia residents will suffer less headaches in the future as a result of ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, still, then, therefore, while, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2438.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96537678208 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05266578268 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.40733197556 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 810.9 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.8333333333 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.444444444 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2777777778 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280817102395 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104986177649 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0732646020139 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165033825533 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0857388628706 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.