"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town---Adams Realty and Fitch Realty---Adams is
clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom
work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch,
and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes
listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took
more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it
took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you
should use Adams."
The above argument takes into consideration two leading realty firms in a town and tries to establish the superiority of one real estate firm, Adams Realty over another, Fitch Realty. In order to support this, the author cites various examples. One such example is that the real estate agents of Adams Realty outnumber the real estate agents of Fitch Realty. Apart from this, the author also mentions that the revenue garnered by Adams was twice as much as the revenue garnered by Fitch. In addition to this, the author also quotes a personal experience with both of these firms wherein listing with Adams resulted in speedier results than Fitch. Though the author substantiates his argument with various instances, the argument remains feeble as it stands.
Firstly, the author mentions that there are more real estate agents in Adams than in Fitch. This doesn’t necessarily have to equate to the former being superior to the latter. In fact, sometimes having more workforce than needed can prove to be counterproductive, we all have heard of the proverb ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’, after all. Apart from this, the author mentions no evidence as to how having a larger workforce has served to enhance the firm’s overall performance.
Secondly, the author also cites how the revenue of Adams in the previous year was double the revenue of Fitch in the same year and how the average home sales of Adams was greater than that of Fitch. This again fails to be convincing enough as taking just one year into consideration is not strong enough an argument to establish results. There are several factors attributable to the revenue which have not been considered or even mentioned by the author.
Lastly, the author chooses to substantiate his/her take by providing an account of his own experience. What undermines this, is the fact that the account narrated by the author is ten years old. There can be several changes that take place in a span of ten years. This changes can be related to technology as well as nuances between demands of the population then and now. Thus, this once again fails to prove his point.
In conclusion, though the author cites several examples to support his argument, these seem very facile and do not persuade one enough into believing that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty. The author must take into consideration several other factors before drawing a conclusion.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, and more arguments, like: maybe Adams charges more service fees.
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
the introduction is too long while every argument is short.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 1957 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.797 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.45 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.331 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, after all, apart from, as to, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2034.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00985221675 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58626788575 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472906403941 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 634.5 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.057635792 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.7 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297190514834 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0932885143954 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115954768139 0.0701772020484 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16296170787 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112307422211 0.0628817314937 179% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.