The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In recommendation send from vice president of human resource at climpson, it is stated that human resource concluded to install the software to detect the uses of internet to prevent employees from diverting their mind from their work to improve their performance and productivity which results in overall profit for company climpson. this conclusion is based on the issues that the employees are keen to use internet all the time in working hours and internet uses is hampering employees's performance at a higher level due to this the company's progress is diminishing. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated, below questions must be answered.
First of all, does all employees are using internet for recreational purpose? In other words, aren't employees using internet for office work? Perhaps, it is possible that the employees are using internet sites for work related purpose (i.e to get valuable information which will help them to increase the knowledge and progress further). it is possible that not all employees are using recreational sites during working hours. They might be using during breaks or after the office hours. The employees might be aware of their responsibility and following it. if either of these scenario has merit, then author's original argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, is the employee's performance is the only reason for company's progress? Perhaps, the possibility of the reasons like lack of knowledge and outdated technology etc are also the primary reasons for company's loss. Moreover, it is possible that the competitor company might be using the advanced technology with proper training to their employees which can be also the reason for company climpson's loss. if above is true, then the authors, argument does not hold water.
In addition to this, the author assumes that the employees in climpson is not progressing as expected. The author fails to understand that the restriction is not the solution for this issue. In order to improve performance, the company need to take the stand to encourage and motivate to employees for their responsilibilty. The author ignores the possibility that, the employees can use their mobile phones for recreational activities. In this case, the company can not measure the time spend on internet for personal activities like online banking, shopping, social networking sites. if the author assumes that internet is the only reason for hampering employee's productivity then the author's argument, installing devices to detect internet sites does not make sense.
In conclusion, the argument as it stand now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwanted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the questions above and offers more evidence, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the visibility the proposed recommendation. Without additional information, there isn't much reason to accept the conclusion to install the internet detection software to increase employee's progress in company.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2508 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.269 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.885 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 124 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.279 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In recommendation send from vice preside...
^^^^
Line 1, column 340, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...in overall profit for company climpson. this conclusion is based on the issues that ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d, below questions must be answered. First of all, does all employees are usi...
^^^
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...r recreational purpose? In other words, arent employees using internet for office wor...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ase the knowledge and progress further. it is possible that not all employees are ...
^^
Line 3, column 562, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...their responsibility and following it. if either of these scenario has merit, the...
^^
Line 3, column 575, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this scenario' or 'these scenarios'?
Suggestion: this scenario; these scenarios
...ibility and following it. if either of these scenario has merit, then authors original argume...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... argument is significantly weakened. Secondly, is the employees performance i...
^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'employees'' or 'employee's'?
Suggestion: employees'; employee's
...cantly weakened. Secondly, is the employees performance is the only reason for comp...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 413, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... the reason for company climpsons loss. if above is true, then the authors, argume...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...authors, argument does not hold water. In addition to this, the author assumes ...
^^^
Line 6, column 290, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e the stand to encourage and motivate to employees for their responsilibilty. The...
^^
Line 6, column 590, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ing, shopping, social networking sites. if the author assumes that internet is the...
^^
Line 6, column 691, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...mpering employees productivity then the authors argument, installing devices to detect ...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... internet sites does not make sense. In conclusion, the argument as it stand ...
^^^
Line 8, column 125, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...liance on several unwanted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the questi...
^^
Line 8, column 328, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
.... Without additional information, there isnt much reason to accept the conclusion to...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, in addition, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41437632135 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9136628855 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458773784355 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 795.6 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.2855162478 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.347826087 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5652173913 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.21739130435 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17984403458 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061347473113 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500602671866 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108775487053 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.048246725178 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.