Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author argues that Woven baskets were not uniquely Palean. To support his/her claim, the author cites the following evidences: first, archaeologists discovered one Woven basket in Lithos; second, there is a very deep and broad river that can be crossed only by boat; third, no Palean boats have been found. Tough the issue has its merit, due to unpersuasive evidences and unaddressed assumptions, the conclusion is unsubstantiated and flawed.
To begin with, the author unfairly indicates that all the conditions about two villages and river are unchanged over years. That the current Brim River is very deep and broad does not necessarily mean it was very deep and wide in the ancient. Say, for example, the river used to be very shallow, then it is obvious that ancient people could easily pass river without any boats. There could be even no river in the ancient at all. Citizens in these two villages could go to another village by walking. The argument made by the author is questionable when there was dramatic change happening from past to present, especially the condition about the Brim River.
Moreover, the author assumes that boat is the only method to cross the river. Many other approaches to cross the river remain untested. If ancient people living around the river were all good at swimming, then Woven basket can be transported by people who swam. There could also be a bridge on the river, but as time passes, the bridge was ruined by flood and then no longer exists today. Woven baskets, therefore, can be readily transported to Lithos from Palea in the ancient. In addition, archaeologists only discovered one Woven basket in Lithos. The sample size is too small to say anything. Without the detailed information about ancient Palea and Lithos, we are not equipped with the ability to draw any conclusion about the spread of Woven basket.
Last but not least, lacking of evidence of Palean boats does not mean there is no evidence about boat. Probably the boats were belonged to people in Lithos, and they shared the boats in transporting Woven baskets. Archaeologists today may not be obtained with sophisticated tools or ways to detect the ancient relics of ancient boats. The Palean boats might be made of disposable materials like wood in the ancient. They disposed through a series of processes with the assistance of rain, wind, and bacteria activities. The boats, in this case, are not likely to be found today even if there was a bridge in the past.
To sum up, as it stands, the author makes conclusion based on several questionable assumptions which undermines its validity. To further strengthen his argument, the author is recommeded to provide evidences as follows: first, there was also a deep and wide river across two villages in the ancient; second, no boats could be found after excluding all other possibilities by precise investigation; third, the only way to approach Litho from Palea is by boating.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: To further strengthen his argument, the author is recommeded to provide evidences as follows: first, there was also a deep and wide river across two villages in the ancient; second, no boats could be found after excluding all other possibilities by precise investigation; third, the only way to approach Litho from Palea is by boating.
Error: recommeded Suggestion: recommended
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2392 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.803 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.549 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.92 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.087 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 453, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion is unsubstantiated and flawed. To begin with, the author unfairly ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: ,  
...ted and flawed. To begin with, the author unfairly indicates that all ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 664, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ally the condition about the Brim River. Moreover, the author assumes that boat i...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 619, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... even if there was a bridge in the past. To sum up, as it stands, the author make...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, third, for example, in addition, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2498.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 494.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05668016194 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77488649906 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48987854251 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 759.6 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.3070322979 57.8364921388 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.545454545 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4545454545 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.59090909091 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.132937435855 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0457277488079 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525985727055 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0886011471214 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.057817487896 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 98.500998004 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.