Advertising with cable communications crop is a great way to increase your profits. Recently the Adams Car Dealership began advertising with Cable Communications and over the last 30 days, sales are up 15% over the previous month. Let us increase your profits, just as we did for Adams Cars!
Increasing company’s profits by advertising with cable communications crop may seem attractive at the first glance. But the author could not develop his or her idea about this way of advertising and convince customers by decent evidence. Using example without any diversity is another weak point of this argument while the author could develop his or her argument by using different examples about wide variety of companies that choose cable communication as the way of advertising. Furthermore, the writer does not render enough evidence about the percentage of sales for Adams Car Dealership and appropriate reasons about higher sales after selecting cable communications crop.
Advertising with cable communications crop is one of the advertising ways and for proving this way is a great way to increase company’s profits, the author should say about the advantages of this way of advertisement and render supporting evidence for convincing companies. At this argument, the author explains his or her approach about cable communications crop as a great way without giving clear definition about the meaning of great way. Many companies have certain definition about selecting great way of advertising and some of them prefer to define this term as higher sales while another intend to mean this term as increasing the awareness of people about their products. So, the author should determine that which one of these meaning is reasonable to explain the cable communications crop as a great way.
The author give an example about one unknown car dealership company without enough evidence while could develop this argument by giving an example about some eminent companies that use this way of advertising and increase their profits at the short time. Moreover, the author could take other kinds of companies into account, like manufacture companies or servicing companies to assure public to select cable communication as one of main advertising tools.
The other weak point should be considered is about statistical numbers that author use to prove his or her observation about cable communications crop. The author said that since Adams Car dealership began advertising with cable communications its sales are up 15% over the previous month and does not present any evidence. The writer does not pay attention to compete this period of time at the recent years and consider important reasons which lead to increasing sales. Higher sales could be occurred through several reasons like being at certain months or even changing management strategy!
In conclusion, this argument has a lot of ambiguities without decent supporting evidence to persuade companies to use cable communications crop as a great way to advertise their products. To better convince business owners of the benefit of advertising with cable communications, the author could provide additional detail about the trend of increasing sales at Adams car Dealership Company and persuade business owners with rational statistic numbers.
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Sentence: The author give an example about one unknown car dealership company without enough evidence while could develop this argument by giving an example about some eminent companies that use this way of advertising and increase their profits at the short time.
Description: The fragment author give an is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, past tense
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2506 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.332 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.876 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.624 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5