The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. Due to this demand and the overall increase in clothing prices, we can predict that Sartorian's alpaca overcoats will be more profitable than ever before."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The memo stated that resume the production of alpaca overcoat will be more profitable, given the fact that a new suppliers join the company and none of the competitors produce compatible products. The argument seems to be convincing and riveting in a cursory reading, whereas a in-depth analysis reveal serveral logical fallacies and loopholes that have rendered it indefensibale.
First, the author claimed that the resume of prodcution will results in hight popularity since it was the case five years ago and the outcry from the customers when the company discontinued the relevant manufcaturing. However, the statement is at absence of evidence to support author's argument. The author neither provide evidence to champion his assumption that the products were popular five years ago nor supply anyb relevant data of the sales of products. If there were only a paricular group of people demanding of the products, it would be too impetuous to decide the popularity of the products. Furthermore,what happend in five years ago is not necessary to apply the same case in the current situation. It is likely that the alpaca overcoat has been old-fashioned for nowadays, which will invalidate the author's argument.
Second, the arguemnt that no competitors offered compatible products is lack of convincing evidence and information. The memo need should be more specificly on the the point. The author assumes that the competitors' products is not competitve since they were the case five years ago. However, it is likely that the competitors have reinforced their products and might have been better, which will weaken the argument that the author conducts.
Third, assuming the fact that the products are still popular and none of the compeitiors manufacture the products with same quality, the increase in the overall price in clothing will keep some customers away. The author need to have a marketing survey to see whether people are still willing to buy alpaca coats. If many people could not afford to buy the product, the profits would not be as much as author predict, despite of new suppliers and the quality of products.
In conclusion, the argument is based on some unwarranted assumptions and unconvincing evidence. To lauch the product successfully into the market as they did five yeras ago, the author should supply more warranted information and evidence.
Sentence: The memo need should be more specificly on the the point.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: If many people could not afford to buy the product, the profits would not be as much as author predict, despite of new suppliers and the quality of products.
Description: The fragment author predict , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace predict with verb, past tense
Sentence: The argument seems to be convincing and riveting in a cursory reading, whereas a in-depth analysis reveal serveral logical fallacies and loopholes that have rendered it indefensibale.
Error: serveral Suggestion: several
Error: indefensibale Suggestion: indefensible
Sentence: First, the author claimed that the resume of prodcution will results in hight popularity since it was the case five years ago and the outcry from the customers when the company discontinued the relevant manufcaturing.
Error: hight Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: prodcution Suggestion: production
Error: manufcaturing Suggestion: manufacturing
Sentence: The author neither provide evidence to champion his assumption that the products were popular five years ago nor supply anyb relevant data of the sales of products.
Error: anyb Suggestion: any
Sentence: If there were only a paricular group of people demanding of the products, it would be too impetuous to decide the popularity of the products.
Error: paricular Suggestion: particular
Sentence: Furthermore,what happend in five years ago is not necessary to apply the same case in the current situation.
Error: happend Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Second, the arguemnt that no competitors offered compatible products is lack of convincing evidence and information.
Error: arguemnt Suggestion: argument
Sentence: The memo need should be more specificly on the the point.
Error: specificly Suggestion: specific
Sentence: The author assumes that the competitors' products is not competitve since they were the case five years ago.
Error: competitve Suggestion: competitive
Sentence: Third, assuming the fact that the products are still popular and none of the compeitiors manufacture the products with same quality, the increase in the overall price in clothing will keep some customers away.
Error: compeitiors Suggestion: competitions
Sentence: To lauch the product successfully into the market as they did five yeras ago, the author should supply more warranted information and evidence.
Error: yeras Suggestion: years
Error: lauch Suggestion: launch
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
and need to argue against the conclusion:
'Due to this demand and the overall increase in clothing prices, we can predict that Sartorian's alpaca overcoats will be more profitable than ever before.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1953 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.099 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.708 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.333 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5