The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.
"Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. One graduate of the course was able to read a five-hundred-page report in only two hours; another graduate rose from an assistant manager to vice president of the company in under a year. Obviously, the faster you can read, the more information you can absorb in a single workday. Moreover, Easy Read costs only $500 per employee — a small price to pay when you consider the benefits to Acme. Included in this fee is a three-week seminar in Spruce City and a lifelong subscription to the Easy Read newsletter. Clearly, Acme would benefit greatly by requiring all of our employees to take the Easy Read course."
The author claims that the Acme Publishing Company should oblige its employees to take the Read Speed-Reading Course owing to the fact that other companies could enhance their productivity based on this issue. Moreover, he/she explains some reasons like the ability of swift reading and rising one employee from assistant manager to vice president as proving for this claim. In addition, he/she beleives that taking this course will have a little cost for the company. According to the author’s claim and the reasons, it can be inferred that the reasons are too weak or they need to be explained more.
First of all, the author states that fast reading will increase productivity of the company; hence, one person could read five hundred pages only in two hours. Here, a question will came into mind. What is the relation between quick reading and improving productivity? Is it adequet that we say the example of merely one person who could read 500 pages in two hours? In this case, the connection between these two items is vague and it is needed to be expanded more by the author which state the sufficient reasons and details.
Secondly, the author remarks the example of one employee who has promoted from an assistant manager to a vice president position. The author offers this promotion has occured because of taking Speed-Reading Course by the person; however, he/she never consider other factors that may lead to this improvement; the great ability of managment, having good talent and ideas for being vice president, having more experience than other persons and etc are all such factors of why this employee promoted to vice president. Therefore, it is not strong enough that present the ability of speed-reading as the only reason.
Finally, he/she highlights that the cost for this project is low; just 500$ for one person. The author never discuss about the number of Acme employees. It maybe an enermous cost if the number of applicants for the course is high. Moreover, he/she never speak about the Acme budget which is alotted to this project. In addition, he/she must discuss about the costs for the three-week conferience in details which it might need overally a huge investigation.
As a summary, this claims that taking speed-reading course can improve productivity of employees is not expanded and explained well by the author. There are many asumptions and questions that must be taken into account. Totally, this statement is supposed as a week claim.
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Sentence: Here, a question will came into mind.
Description: The word will is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will came
Sentence: In addition, he/she beleives that taking this course will have a little cost for the company.
Error: beleives Suggestion: believes
Sentence: Is it adequet that we say the example of merely one person who could read 500 pages in two hours?
Error: adequet Suggestion: adequate
Sentence: The author offers this promotion has occured because of taking Speed-Reading Course by the person; however, he/she never consider other factors that may lead to this improvement; the great ability of managment, having good talent and ideas for being vice president, having more experience than other persons and etc are all such factors of why this employee promoted to vice president.
Error: managment Suggestion: management
Error: occured Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It maybe an enermous cost if the number of applicants for the course is high.
Error: enermous Suggestion: enormous
Sentence: There are many asumptions and questions that must be taken into account.
Error: asumptions Suggestion: assumptions
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 418 350
No. of Characters: 2014 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.522 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.818 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.501 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.785 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5