A recent study with a researcher pretending to have a broken down car on the side of the road showed that when the researcher was a man, 60% of the time, a man pulled over to help them, and 0% of the time a woman stopped to help. When the researcher was a woman, 70% of the time a man stopped to help, and 20% of the time a woman stopped to help. This study shows how all men are more naturally altruistic than women. It also shows that women care more about helping women than men.
How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.
The author claims that all men are naturally altruistic than women and women care more about helping women than men. The authors argument to support this claim very weak and highly generalised, because of the following reasons.
Firstly, the author assumes that all men and women have equal knowledge about fixing a broken car or atleast knowing how to deal with such a situation. The statistic here implies that most men have fairly good knowledge about broken cars and knows how to deal with such a situation. Thats why they are in a better position to offer help to others as compared to women. Women might not have good enough knowledge to offer help in such situation. Also, we can\'t claim that men are more altruistic than women on the basis of one situation. There are many other situations where women can be proven to be more altruistic than men.
Secondly, the percentage of women offering help to another women is just 20%, which is a very low figure. These women would have pulled over to show moral support to other women and try to help her. A stranded woman might get teased or even raped by men who might pull over with such intentions. But in the case of men, there is no need of women pulling over as there is very insignificant probability of men being teased by a passing woman. A woman would help men in situations in which she has more knowledg, like cooking. Hence, the claim that women helps only women is not true.
In conclusion, authors claim is false and highly generalised. It can be made stronger by stating the statistics related to actual reason for which the person pulls over to help. Also, the author should have taken many other sceanarios in which altruism of men and women can be compared, so that more informed decision can be made about which sex is more altruistic.
Sentence: Secondly, the percentage of women offering help to another women is just 20, which is a very low figure.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and women
Sentence: Hence, the claim that women helps only women is not true.
Description: The fragment women helps only is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace helps with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: The authors argument to support this claim very weak and highly generalised, because of the following reasons.
Error: generalised Suggestion: generalized
Sentence: Firstly, the author assumes that all men and women have equal knowledge about fixing a broken car or atleast knowing how to deal with such a situation.
Error: atleast Suggestion: at least
Sentence: A woman would help men in situations in which she has more knowledg, like cooking.
Error: knowledg Suggestion: knowledge
Sentence: In conclusion, authors claim is false and highly generalised.
Error: generalised Suggestion: generalized
Sentence: Also, the author should have taken many other sceanarios in which altruism of men and women can be compared, so that more informed decision can be made about which sex is more altruistic.
Error: sceanarios Suggestion: scenarios
flaws:
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Maybe you need to put one more reason.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Characters: 1454 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.516 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.253 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 55 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.946 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5