Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current

Essay topics:

Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current satellite provider. The company is techno corporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of the respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not monopoly.Thus , the new venture of technocorporation into satellite televsion will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.

The article that appeared in a newsletter advices investors to make a blind invetment in techcorporation. The reason behind this is that, it is the only company in 10years to hav edeveloped a technology that has been approved by the FTA to cpete with the current satellite provider. Also a survey claims that eighty percent users were dissatisfied with the current satellite provider and would like to switch to another one. However, this advice seems to be flawed, as there is no strong evidence that would support this claim.

The newsletter article states that for the first time in 10 years , a satellite built by a comapany has been approved by the FTA. However this statement cannot be blindly accepted. Eventhough the satellite might have been accepted by the FTA there is no guarantee that the satellite would live upto its expectations. As there has absolutely been no strong competitor in the past 10 years, there is no assurance that Techcorporation would succeed as a satellite provider inspite of their satellite being approved.

Also the survey which indicated that 80% of the respondents were dissatisfied with their current satellite provider does not shed light towards the place the survey was conducted, the sample size, the survey questions. It could be that this opinion would be limited to only a small geographical area and the rest of the population would be happy with their current service provider.

The newsletter article also doesnot take into account techcorporation's experience in the field. Inspite of developing a satellite, the might not have the means or the experience it convert it into a viable satellite television provider. Some data has to be provided regarding the schemes they offer, their execution plan, their stock prices which is vital for investors.

Since no strong support data has been provided it is not wise to invest into techcorporation simply based on the newsletter. Proper statistical data has to be provided, only then should investors think of investing or else they could be digging their own grave.

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Average: 3.5 (4 votes)
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Sentence: Inspite of developing a satellite, the might not have the means or the experience it convert it into a viable satellite television provider.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and might
Description: The fragment it convert it is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace convert with verb, past tense

Sentence: The article that appeared in a newsletter advices investors to make a blind invetment in techcorporation.
Error: invetment Suggestion: investment

Sentence: The reason behind this is that, it is the only company in 10years to hav edeveloped a technology that has been approved by the FTA to cpete with the current satellite provider.
Error: cpete Suggestion: ?
Error: hav Suggestion: have
Error: edeveloped Suggestion: developed

Sentence: The newsletter article states that for the first time in 10 years , a satellite built by a comapany has been approved by the FTA.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- not OK

argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1692 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.006 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.81 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.003 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Submitted by akshay2312 on Fri, 09/26/2014 - 12:57

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Dear E Rater,
Please tell if the following analysis hold for this essay :
;
1. Reliability of Survey: the track record of agency that did it; demographic area covered; population covered.

2. Quality of FTA ratings needs to shown by the argument: parameters used by FTA rating are very demanding and stringent; ensuring high quality.Past service records of good and reliable service of other service providers having FTA Rating might help in strengthening the claim.

3.It could be that some other service providers are also planning to set business in future. Need info on that; past records and reputation of competitors , who are willing to set up their business.

4. exact reasons for current dissatisfaction of people with current service provider; reasons could be the same with techno crop

1. No. you need to accept the survey is correct.

Suggested:
The survey was taken last year, and the monopolizing satellite provider may have responded to the survey and changed its services and operations, increasing customer satisfaction.

2. No. Need to accept the rating.

suggested:
It may be the case that Techcorporations satellite technology was only recently approved by the FTA and is years away from ever becoming a viable product ready for the market. Additionally, it may take years before Techcorporation begins to establish brand recognition and a significant customer base, thus extending the period before investors would see high profits.

3. Maybe.

4. No. the same reason in 1.