The statement presented in the question gives a fair amount of opportunity to present both the sides context to judge which path leads to better track record for an individual and field. People choose a field based on lots of factors that help to create better facilities and life on the planet. The bigger goal of any field is contribute to the growth of the individual and planet as a whole. To achieve such holistic goals we have to develop individuals passionate enough to contribute to different existing fields. Such dedicated contribution has made better opportunities in many aspect of life.
When an individual selects a field they are mostly motivated by the growth of the field achieved by past tremendous work. These high achievers motivates them to peruse a field. The story starts from the point where motivated individuals start their journey by sheer presence of historical excellence. India is now considered as technical hub where people from diverse background has made significant contribution to tremendous growth of technology in the country. Examples of such sheer hard work has build India's image as technical battle ground of future. Following such trends many got motivated with the opportunities the field has to offer. Such development clearly contributes in the economic growth of the country. To develop talent such tremendous growth stories bolster people to evaluate the potential of a field.
But the other side of the story looks equally interesting. Every legendary story start with zeal and passion to make something great. Such a product will bring leap in technology generation. Such great stories not necessarily need tremendous past contribution to take off. There are lots of examples that evince in my mind right now. For instance Elon musk spaceX and Tesla motors. These companies are engineering marvels. Ford motors tried to make electric cars ways before but failed badly. There were many issues related to those cars like bad design, frequent charging etc. Even though nothing much was achieved in the field Elon gave a engineering marvel to the people in form of Tesla cars. The cars not only have destroyed all the stereotypical thoughts but presented a car that is better than many available combustion motor vehicle. On the other side Amazon was the first company in the world to open e-commerce company that will deliver books to your door step. They eventually entered in all consumer goods market and acquire larger market share all around the world.
Eventually there are lot of factors that persuades people to take up a challenging task and contribute to the growth of the society. Some start a journey following someone's dream while other have their own dreams.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sides'' or 'side's'?
Suggestion: sides'; side's
...ount of opportunity to present both the sides context to judge which path leads to be...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 329, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'contributed'.
Suggestion: contributed
...planet. The bigger goal of any field is contribute to the growth of the individual and pla...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 580, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: 'many aspects'.
Suggestion: many aspects
...bution has made better opportunities in many aspect of life. When an individual selects...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...portunities in many aspect of life. When an individual selects a field they are ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 144, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[2]
Message: You should probably use 'motivate'.
Suggestion: motivate
...t tremendous work. These high achievers motivates them to peruse a field. The story start...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 641, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...uch was achieved in the field Elon gave a engineering marvel to the people in for...
^
Line 5, column 948, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pen e-commerce company that will deliver books to your door step. They eventuall...
^^
Line 5, column 958, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...erce company that will deliver books to your door step. They eventually entered ...
^^
Line 5, column 1047, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...consumer goods market and acquire larger market share all around the world. E...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, so, while, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 33.0505617978 48% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2283.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 446.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11883408072 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66400644942 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.547085201794 0.4932671777 111% => OK
syllable_count: 711.0 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.2370786517 138% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.037443528 60.3974514979 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.5357142857 118.986275619 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9285714286 23.4991977007 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.85714285714 5.21951772744 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 10.2758426966 204% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154206586418 0.243740707755 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0397096446791 0.0831039109588 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0432503904636 0.0758088955206 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0858684466934 0.150359130593 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0488396615988 0.0667264976115 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 100.480337079 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.