Because people increasingly feel compelled to share their personal details online, the right to privacy is eroding.
The world we are living in today, is highly influenced by social media. For most people, the day starts with social media, ends with social media. I strongly agree with the prompt that the privacy of people in our society is at stake since they feel compelled to share their personal details online for two reasons.
Firstly, people sharing personal details online not only share information related to them, but also leak the private information related to the people around them. These people that are being affected by the 'second hand smoke', few times may not even realise that their privacy is being compromised. For example, a video logger might be posting a video about a restaurant that he/she is visiting that day, the video that he posts online also covers the people that were present at the restaurant that day. Not all people would be okay with their whereabouts being available online for the rest of the world to see. There could be some one in the video covered who would not like to be a part of the video, thereby compromising their right to privacy.
Secondly, cyber crimes are increasing rapidly and any form of data is very valuable and can prove to be dangerous when fallen into the wrong hands. There are a lot of awarness campaigns going on regarding the threats of cyber crimes and how vulnerable we are to them. But none of them could control the rate of which these attacks are being committed. For example, a person may post something as simple as a day out with his/her friends, when they went to watch a game of football. Even if a single frame from the videos or pictures captured during the the billing process of the tickets is posted, and someone with a malicious intent could get hold of a shot of the card and security pins, or atleast ball park it, there is a potential risk that this data could be used to loot this account that was being used. We can never be sure who has access to the content we post online, and what the intentions of our audience would be, leading to critically endangering our right to privacy.
One could argue that every individual should have the right to express, and should be able to share online whatever they wish to. But, should it be at the risk of one's privacy? Or at the risk of the privacy of their loved one's? The right to privacy is thereby diminishing due to people constantly posting personal details online and neccessary steps have to be taken to address and solve this issue.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 142, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding people'?
Suggestion: the surrounding people
...leak the private information related to the people around them. These people that are being affected b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 631, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'someone'?
Suggestion: someone
...est of the world to see. There could be some one in the video covered who would not like...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 550, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... the videos or pictures captured during the the billing process of the tickets is poste...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 550, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... the videos or pictures captured during the the billing process of the tickets is poste...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 164, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...sh to. But, should it be at the risk of ones privacy? Or at the risk of the privacy ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2036.0 2235.4752809 91% => OK
No of words: 441.0 442.535393258 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.61678004535 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28498755679 2.79657885939 82% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514739229025 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 630.9 704.065955056 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.2856520674 60.3974514979 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.111111111 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.44444444444 5.21951772744 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254802501109 0.243740707755 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0860371410537 0.0831039109588 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0985719213853 0.0758088955206 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170640663446 0.150359130593 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0803241885336 0.0667264976115 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.8420337079 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.1639044944 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.