The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree wi

Essay topics:

"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Leadership is one of the important factors for the success of a nation, company or other industry. The claim suggests that a sense of cooperation is more important than competition for a society to train the leadership of its young generation. However, I totally agree with the statement based on two reasons.

First of all, cooperation is important for leadership because we need to work with our colleagues to complete a project. To be specific, in the complex reality, we need to consider our work in large scale and think thoroughly. In addition, we are not perfect human, people can discuss with each other for better solution. For example, a leader in a software developing team in a company cannot design and develop the code by their own. They need to break down the requirements from the user, and allocate to junior engineers to fulfill each function. In other words, if leaders cannot cooperate with their team members, they could not complete their work by themselves.

Furthermore, the cooperation across the industries can be beneficial from upstream to downstream. If the leader only compete with other companies, and it will lose a lot of chance to expand its market share. A British research demonstrates that, the more partnerships one company has, the more possibility of the company getting success in its industry. For instance, Amazon, a well-known online shopping website, cannot be success if it never cooperates with other companies. Amazon integrates the upstream supplies by showing their excellent products online. And once a customer buys a product from Amazon, the delivery of a product is well prepared as well. It is the cooperation between the leaders of online shopping website, the product supplies and the logistic company enhance the experience of shopping for customers. And this cooperation makes Amazon one of the biggest shopping website. That is to say, the cooperation between companies can bring better solution and create value to them.

To sum up, the success of leadership depends on the cooperation inside and outside of the organization. From above mentioned, a leader should cooperate well with colleagues in the organization and partners outside of the organization. Thus, I strongly agree with the statement that a sense of cooperation is more important than competition for the leadership.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'British research'.
Suggestion: British research
...t of chance to expand its market share. A British research demonstrates that, the more partnership...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, so, thus, well, for example, for instance, in addition, first of all, in other words, to sum up, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 12.9106741573 178% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1975.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 379.0 442.535393258 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2110817942 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93307343569 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477572559367 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 614.7 704.065955056 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 12.0 4.99550561798 240% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.4329264245 60.3974514979 39% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 94.0476190476 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0476190476 23.4991977007 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85714285714 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202715883605 0.243740707755 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0661931567455 0.0831039109588 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0628280552315 0.0758088955206 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145196370959 0.150359130593 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0534543398097 0.0667264976115 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.