The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry,
or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the
claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling
reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position
A proper leadership is very important for a successful operation of a team. The ideals of such a leader and his methods are apposite in shaping the course of these decisions. The familiar duality of co-operation and competition naturally comes into the picture here. A team that works well together is as important as trying to push them harder and reach their limits. But, as the familiar saying goes, a fist is always stronger than five individual fingers. It necessary for a team to be able to work together effectively to reach their goals.
Democracy is seen as the fairest form of government because it is inclusive of all views. Although a particular leader is voted as the President or Prime Minister, he/she is the face of the party taking collective decisions. The success of the leader is because of the hard work of everyone involved in the campaign. And even after being elected, he/she is just leader of a council of ministers involved in making the decisions. As we can see from this, every major decision involves the working of a large group of people and the leader must be able to promote cohesion amongst his team to improve their effectiveness.
Sports are a very good example to realize the importance of a team over superstars. We hear many underdog stories because of the superior cohesion between themselves over other star-studded teams with clashing egos. Take the case of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, regarded as one of the best strikers to have played football. He was a divisive force in the dressing room always known for creating a competitive mood. The interesting part of his story is that he could never win the European Championship and kept getting transferred from one top team to the other, while the team that he transferred out of started winning trophies. Thus, we can see from this that although he was a very good player the air of competitiveness he brought to the dressing room hampered the performance of others.
Although cooperation is required it is not sufficient. There must be a healthy competition between members of the team because conflict leads to brilliant ideas many times. This will enable the leader to push the limits of the team and extract as much as possible from his people. So a commensurate balance between the two must be achieved by the leader to maximize the efficiency while maintaining harmonious relations. So, society must primarily instill a sense of cooperation while promoting some healthy competition also.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hampered the performance of others. Although cooperation is required it is not suffi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 521, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...hile promoting some healthy competition also.
^^^^
Line 7, column 527, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...romoting some healthy competition also.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, so, still, thus, well, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2070.0 2235.4752809 93% => OK
No of words: 419.0 442.535393258 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94033412888 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83069179852 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.534606205251 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 651.6 704.065955056 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.938216229 60.3974514979 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.0909090909 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0454545455 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.77272727273 5.21951772744 34% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0707771905383 0.243740707755 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0214110957351 0.0831039109588 26% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0280123638302 0.0758088955206 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0457375795238 0.150359130593 30% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0259518357115 0.0667264976115 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 100.480337079 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.