Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
We, humans, tend to fulfill our selfish desires in order to feel acknowledged and alive. Certainly, follow your dreams sends a mixed-signal, because in reality most people of providing for themselves before focusing on contribution to society and altruistic deeds. Hence, in my opinion, the claim, as well as the reason, is irrefutable for the majority of cases.
Consider, a kid who wanted to become an actor to fulfill his avarice for fame. Now if that child was instilled with the thought of solely following his dreams, surely he fails to learn the importance of contributing to society. Fulfilling selfish desires only provide a short-term jubilance, hence in the longer run, the actor would be found wanting in terms of happiness. Therefore, more emphasis on worthy goals which helps the community to flourish as a whole is important rather than just following your dream. Surely, we firstly have become influential enough for a large contribution but we must start early by making contributions on a scale we can manage which starts by exhorting the kids to pick worthy goals.
A professor working on research has two motives, the primary motive is getting tenure as well as recognition which pushes them in the first place to follow their dream. The contribution to the erudite community becomes secondary because of which a large percentage of researchers fail to achieve breakthroughs and due to the notion "publish or perish" in scholarly communities, the researchers suffer. On the contrary, the reserachers who as kids were instilled with the values of philanthropy tend to achieve recognition as well as a tenure because their primary goal is unselfish. Hence, unselfish goals have a higher precedence over selfish goals and kids should indeed to extoled to pick worthy goals.
Although in some situations the motivation factor for following our dreams may be selfish, The important thing is to realize that on a broad level every dream is selfish, it is during the path of achieving those selfish goals we realize that we indeed have a role towards society and community.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 600, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
... their primary goal is unselfish. Hence, unselfish goals have a higher precedence...
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
... role towards society and community.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, so, still, therefore, well, as well as, in my opinion, on the contrary, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1767.0 2235.4752809 79% => OK
No of words: 343.0 442.535393258 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15160349854 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90280932306 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 215.323595506 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.565597667638 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.0382485589 60.3974514979 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.923076923 118.986275619 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3846153846 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3846153846 5.21951772744 199% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231309711374 0.243740707755 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.076784034099 0.0831039109588 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070027660854 0.0758088955206 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138262664241 0.150359130593 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0196713225441 0.0667264976115 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.1639044944 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.