Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
there's an old saying: A man without dream is a bird without feathers. dreams are what drives individuals to strive for a better life while simultaneously contributing to a diverse society in contrast to picking up banal "worthy goals".
dreaming is something that has come naturally to human race;it's a portion of evolution- both biological and social that has shaped the civilization the way see it now. To go against something so fundamental and pursue " worthy goals" is to to urge humans to become automatons that work only for survival. would there be a Sistine Chapel with beautifully painted Adam if Micheal Angelo had pursued a career in the aristocratic footsteps instead of following his artistic heart? would there be a Fur Elise if beethoven had decided to become a worker who just worked to fit the apellation of pursuing the "worthy goals" instead of rendering beautiful emotions through his genius in the form of music?
Moreover, what is considered the so "covered" worthy goals? something that has a sure shot of making it big is probably what some might regard as a goal worth putting efforts to reach. that would be amazing if it succeeds, but there is one problem in such an endeavor which is- it just cannot happen. . Since some people do have a list of these worthy goals, imagine what would happen if each and everyone starts pursuing them.I would like to extend John Nash's theory of equilibrium here which states society would reach harmony if not everyone tried to get the same thing.
Let us give the incisive mind a rest and explore the domain of human emotions that are involved in passion that drives people to do what they do. At this point, I would like to narrate a motivating short episode in the life of a living legend in the football world- christiano Ronaldo. it was not an uncommon thing for young christiano to spend most of his time in the football field following his "dream". legend has it that one day his teacher met him and told him that football would not give him bread to eat in the future but studying would. what would be the chances of christiano becoming what he was if he just sat and studied? A paltry one I would say.I want to make my stand clear at this point that I am not against studying or pursuing any " worthy goals"; I am just advocating the notion that people should try to follow their dreams rather than giving into to the misconception that only worthy goals to lead a happy, successful life.
The "reason" states that following individual goals is selfish. I see this statement is trying to elicit a specious emotion in the reader's mind to agree to the authors words. The author is trying to use a platitude to fit his purpose.I don't see how being selfish is wrong in this context. if individuals try to strive for success in their chosen fields of interest and they do, isn't it good for the society as a hole. I visualize it as all the cells in the human body doing their jobs efficiently. Doesn't it result in the whole well-being of the society?
dreams are what drives humans and pushes individual, social and economic boundaries. while there is nothing wrong in pursuing worthy goals, it is definitely amoral to duress it on young individuals
Grammar and spelling errors:
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theres an old saying: A man without dream is a...
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theres an old saying: A man without dream is a...
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Suggestion: Dreams
...thout dream is a bird without feathers. dreams are what drives individuals to strive f...
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Line 1, column 247, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...king up banal 'worthy goals'. dreaming is something that has come natu...
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Suggestion: Dreaming
... banal 'worthy goals'. dreaming is something that has come naturally to...
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Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...g that has come naturally to human race;its a portion of evolution- both biological...
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...and pursue ' worthy goals' is to to urge humans to become automatons that w...
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Suggestion: Would
...automatons that work only for survival. would there be a Sistine Chapel with beautifu...
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Suggestion: Would
...stead of following his artistic heart? would there be a Fur Elise if beethoven had d...
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...hrough his genius in the form of music? Moreover, what is considered the so &apo...
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...e so 'covered' worthy goals? something that has a sure shot of making it big i...
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Suggestion: That
... a goal worth putting efforts to reach. that would be amazing if it succeeds, but th...
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...deavor which is- it just cannot happen. . Since some people do have a list of the...
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Suggestion: I
... each and everyone starts pursuing them.I would like to extend John Nashs theory ...
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...t everyone tried to get the same thing. Let us give the incisive mind a rest and...
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...the football world- christiano Ronaldo. it was not an uncommon thing for young chr...
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Suggestion: Legend
... field following his 'dream'. legend has it that one day his teacher met him...
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...o eat in the future but studying would. what would be the chances of christiano beco...
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Suggestion: I
...t and studied? A paltry one I would say.I want to make my stand clear at this poi...
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Suggestion:
...goals to lead a happy, successful life. The 'reason' states that follo...
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Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind agreeing'.
Suggestion: mind agreeing
...licit a specious emotion in the readers mind to agree to the authors words. The author is try...
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Suggestion: I
...g to use a platitude to fit his purpose.I dont see how being selfish is wrong in ...
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Suggestion: don't
...to use a platitude to fit his purpose.I dont see how being selfish is wrong in this ...
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Suggestion: If
...being selfish is wrong in this context. if individuals try to strive for success i...
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Suggestion: isn't
... chosen fields of interest and they do, isnt it good for the society as a hole. I vi...
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Suggestion: Doesn't
...uman body doing their jobs efficiently. Doesnt it result in the whole well-being of th...
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Line 13, column 519, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'results'?
Suggestion: results
...doing their jobs efficiently. Doesnt it result in the whole well-being of the society?...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in the whole well-being of the society? dreams are what drives humans and pushes...
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Suggestion: Dreams
...whole well-being of the society? dreams are what drives humans and pushes indiv...
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Line 16, column 86, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: While
...vidual, social and economic boundaries. while there is nothing wrong in pursuing wort...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, moreover, so, well, while, in contrast, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 33.0505617978 175% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2739.0 2235.4752809 123% => OK
No of words: 570.0 442.535393258 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80526315789 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88617158649 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79562737187 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 297.0 215.323595506 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521052631579 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 838.8 704.065955056 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.0343270678 60.3974514979 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.125 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.75 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.625 5.21951772744 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 30.0 7.80617977528 384% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249245723761 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0758457078113 0.0831039109588 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0876415577761 0.0758088955206 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133874306533 0.150359130593 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0313884434543 0.0667264976115 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 100.480337079 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.