CLAIM: Young people’s tendency to make extensive use of portable devices like
smartphones and tablets has hurt their development of social skills.
REASON: These devices encourage users to form artificial personalities and relationships
online rather than fully and honestly engaging with the people around them.
The prompt says that portable devices like smartphones and tablets have detrimental effect on the social skills; and thus, those devices contribute to cheating people and don't show the reality about the person's life. I strongly agree with the claim, these modern connection's means like phones or tablets have a significant role to make the families's lives full of non- meaningfull social connections for several reasons.
First of all, if we look at the past before such contemporary connection-means have been invented; at the family scale, the connection was face to face or by sending messages by posts. Therefore, there is no reason to lie or boast by something untruth. For example, nowadays with social sites like Facebook, all people became connect to each other by just a screen, ask about the others by a post on Facebook. If we look at why this became extremely easy rather than before, you will find the reason behind is Smartphone. Because of these smartphones which became extremely easy to be carried everywhere; people became rely on them to ask about their families rather than visting them personally. This example illustrates to what extent those portable devices contribute to making the relathionships without a real meaning with real feelings.
Secondly, the calim says that those devices ease to the person to creat artificial personalities instead of showing the real personality. These completely true as those devices or screens hide behind them the real world but infront of them a fake personal who always try to be in a best status. For instance, if we look at the celebrities, all peopel envy them as they have a great life full of happiness;however, this is not the truth. Those celebrities like the others use the portable phones which have the same social sities; and therefore, they do the same, share only the happiest moments and never show the bad momnents which give unreal indications. These example, shows how all people became depend on these devices to whether connect with their relatives or families or friends. Now all the world became deal with eachother through the phones screens and no real face to face connections. Therefore, one cannot depend to see the rael picture for anyone or anything as all cheat eachother. Those devices just for showing and vaunting about yoour life not the real life but the life that one wants to show to the others.
In conclusion, moblies and all modern devices have a significant effect and encourage users to creat artificial personalities nonmeaningful relationships lack to face to face connections; it only became online rather than fully and honestly engaging with the people or even their families around them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...vices contribute to cheating people and dont show the reality about the persons life...
^^^^
Line 1, column 204, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...ple and dont show the reality about the persons life. I strongly agree with the claim, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 264, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'connections'' or 'connection's'?
Suggestion: connections'; connection's
...ngly agree with the claim, these modern connections means like phones or tablets have a sig...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 281, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...a fake personal who always try to be in a best status. For instance, if we look a...
^
Line 11, column 160, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'to face'.
Suggestion: to face
...lities nonmeaningful relationships lack to face to face connections; it only became online rath...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, honestly, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.5258426966 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 33.0505617978 103% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2269.0 2235.4752809 101% => OK
No of words: 446.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08744394619 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76435940526 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9685285711 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.470588235 118.986275619 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2352941176 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88235294118 5.21951772744 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252438528059 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.082352847963 0.0831039109588 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0701627339881 0.0758088955206 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183037270023 0.150359130593 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0493710435408 0.0667264976115 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.1392134831 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 11.8971910112 151% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.