Educational institutions are there to guide students for a better future, this would include encouraging students to choose a field of study based on the probability that high financial success can be gained in that field. While the claim sounds like a good idea in which many children can receive a brighter future; however there are two reason why I think that this policy can do more harm than good. First, if institutions were to have encouraged someone of the great literary authors or technology wizards we would have lost gems because those fields were not lucrative enough to encourage students toward. Secondly, if students are encouraged towards fields without taking into account their passion for the field then in the future the student will lack motivation to progress themselves in the field and will be stuck in a phase where it will become difficult for them to escape the field and start anew.
If educational institutions were to encourage their students to choose fields which is prepare them for successful careers then they could end up loosing the next Bill Gates of the decade. Assuming that the policy was implemented back when Bill Gates was in highschool; if the educational institution he had attended had encourages Mr. Gates to take the field of Finance or Politics over Computers then we would have lost Windows. Not only would this have altered the field of technology but it would have negatively impacted the whole world, all because Bill Gates institution encouraged him to alter his field based on what could have led to success at that time.
Another reason why educational institutions should avoid "actively" encouraging their students on what field to choose is that, if a student were to progress ahead with a field they did not like then in the future the student would lack motivation to work in that field. This scenario is very common in India as there are a large magnitude of adults who were forced to take "Chemical Engineering" in college because during that time it could have lead to a lucrative career. Now majority of those adults works in the Chemical Engineering field without many motivation but the monthly wage which they receive leading to possible mismanagement as there is no will to properly do the work.
Actively encouraging students toward a field where wealth is guaranteed is not beneficial for all. There are drawbacks to doing so like lack of motivation from student in that field, or the possibility of losing brilliant minds in other fields.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 621, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to encourage students toward. Secondly, if students are encouraged towards field...
^^
Line 3, column 88, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'prepared'.
Suggestion: prepared
...heir students to choose fields which is prepare them for successful careers then they c...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 147, Rule ID: LOOSING_EFFORTRECORDSEASON[1]
Message: Did you mean 'losing the'?
Suggestion: losing the
...ccessful careers then they could end up loosing the next Bill Gates of the decade. Assuming...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 573, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun motivation seems to be countable; consider using: 'many motivations'.
Suggestion: many motivations
... the Chemical Engineering field without many motivation but the monthly wage which they receive...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, while, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2119.0 2235.4752809 95% => OK
No of words: 423.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00945626478 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79219136585 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 215.323595506 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491725768322 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 23.0359550562 152% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.5158044994 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 176.583333333 118.986275619 148% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.25 23.4991977007 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58333333333 5.21951772744 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.444312807022 0.243740707755 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.172057335602 0.0831039109588 207% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127228051023 0.0758088955206 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263657760826 0.150359130593 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0676059319724 0.0667264976115 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.8 14.1392134831 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.95 48.8420337079 74% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.92365168539 164% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 12.1743820225 139% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.37 12.1639044944 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 100.480337079 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 11.8971910112 164% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.2143820225 143% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.7820224719 170% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.