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The contention that a society should instill a sense of cooperation rather than competition in young people in not a trivial one. It is not uncommon for a society to teach its youth how to cooperate with others. The prompt suggests that a society should teach its young people how to cooperate instead of how to compete in order to prepare them for leadership roles in many fields. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this suggestion for two reasons.
To begin with, competition is an integral part of our lives. We are taught how to compete with others from a very young age and the sense of competition is carried out with us throughout our lives. For instance, a student in a school studies hard and does his best to receive excellent grades in order to be the top of his class. This student competes with all his classmates in order for him to be the top of his class. Such example shows how competition is instilled in us from school until the rest of our lives.
Further, competition prepares people for leadership roles more than cooperation does. Although, as a leader on must cooperate with others it is more important for a leader to know how to compete with others. Therefore, a society should instill a sense of competition rather than cooperation in young individuals. For instance, a student who wants to go to Harvard in order to become the future's top scientist, they begin their competition process from high school. In this society, a top university such as Harvard requires high GPA and high SAT scores. Thus, a student who knows how to compete better than other students have a higher chance getting into Harvard than others. Therefore, competition is the only way in this society for individuals to become great leaders.
In conclusion, a society should instill a sense of competition rather than cooperation in its young people. How else would an individual get elected to be a president of the United States? By competing against other candidates of course. Thus, the person who is better at competition than the other is the one to win the election. Therefore, competition is very important in leadership roles.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
so, still, therefore, thus, for instance, in conclusion, of course, such as, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 14.8657303371 20% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 58.6224719101 111% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1785.0 2235.4752809 80% => OK
No of words: 370.0 442.535393258 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82432432432 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.55969084622 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74815962059 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 215.323595506 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.435135135135 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 553.5 704.065955056 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.3956525117 60.3974514979 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.0 118.986275619 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.619047619 23.4991977007 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.21951772744 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.243740707755 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0831039109588 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0758088955206 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150359130593 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0667264976115 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.8420337079 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.0 8.38706741573 83% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 100.480337079 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.