The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals

Essay topics:

The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Some aver that, increasingly better changed material life has made an erosion on our personality, leading us harder to be strong and independent. It seems like the developing environment is what we ought to blame on. But it is unlikely to be true. I acknowledge that a part of people are in fact become relying on devices and show weakness, but the reason causing that need to be discussed more. So my position toward the claim is negative.

While the disagreement claimed by myself mitigate the degree the original assertation, relative situation does exist. As the rapid development of technology, people gradually have a number of techniques to substitute their alleged "fear". People scaring interactions with others could hide themselves behind screens, people failing to face with difficulties in reality dive themselves on the internet, people lazy to do housework exploit machines to save times and invest them do meaningless things. Technology is double-edged, wise people define them as accessories of their lives while some people see them as everything.

However, such situations exist could not be a fully clue to deduce out that it is the luxury and convenience of current life what takes away their ability to live independently and strongly. Since there is another positive part that is overlooked by us. Firstly, for scientists, well developed technologies such as computers and measurers are serving to help them to calculate data that plays a pivotal role in the way to higher level research. So can we still define the convenience as negative? Here, some might be skeptical, for those researchers' use of devices is to belie their unknown of calculation. While it seems to be understandable at the first glance, if we thinking deeply we will find the unsoundness underlying such words. Just like formulas, mathematicians use whole life to conclude a formula is aiming to transform complex processes with easier ones, and directly use them is what called standing on shoulders of giants.

In sum, independence caused by contemporary technologies is actually existing, and will exist in the future, but it is not a strong enough rationale for us to attribute rapid development as the criminal. And the positive side brought by it should not be overlooked when the claim is being judged.

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Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs could hide themselves behind screens, people failing to face with difficulties...
^^
Line 5, column 45, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('fully') instead an adjective, or a noun ('clue') instead of another adjective.
...ver, such situations exist could not be a fully clue to deduce out that it is the luxury and...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 192, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ity to live independently and strongly. Since there is another positive part that is ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, so, still, well, while, in fact, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1949.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 376.0 442.535393258 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1835106383 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06357928756 2.79657885939 110% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.595744680851 0.4932671777 121% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.8916815648 60.3974514979 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.277777778 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8888888889 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.21951772744 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166477115318 0.243740707755 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0425989223392 0.0831039109588 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0448218842824 0.0758088955206 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.096550644535 0.150359130593 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0117093014608 0.0667264976115 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.46 8.38706741573 113% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 100.480337079 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.