This topic raises the controversial issue of whether the benefits of modern life in terms of luxuries and conveniences hold us back from becoming strong and independent adults. Indisputably, the daily life on the average person in the western world changed dramatically during the past centuries with advancing technologies. We drive to school or work by car or metro, use mobile computers for navigation and enjoy climatized rooms in both too warm and cold days. All this makes it unnecessary to use our brain for calculations, read maps and orientate ourselves using natural sources etc. Nevertheless, we still are forced to use our brain to solve even bigger issues and let our creativity run my possibilities made through the mentioned features of our present life. Thus, I generally disagree with the opinion that people suffer from the modern benefits through lacking in self-confidence and independency.
First, new technologies opened up new worlds for everyone for individual development in any field. To illustrate, let us look at the example of the introduction of the letterpress in the past. In this circumstance, the convenience of copying books instead of rewriting it by hand vastly increased the conveniences of the people and made the prior luxury of owning a book available for a much bigger share of people. Consequently, it is pretty obvious that this this modern feature made it possible for people to gain access to knowledge much easier and develop or mature as adults better.
Furthermore, if we would not enjoy the benefits of transport possibilities, communication gadgets and so on, we would need to spend much more time on these issues leaving us less time to actually develop our personality with the activities which really help us becoming more mature and strong in our society. Specifically, modern transport possibilities make it possible for young adults to discover different parts of the world, which requires independent thinking to get along and communicate with the locals.
Admittedly, some modern gadgets steal us some opportunities of independence. This is true especially when people suddenly loose their access to their smartphones and computers and appear apparently lost with simple calculations or accessing information without internet. However, the above argument does not constitute sufficient evidence to claim that these new luxuries and conveniences restrict us in our independence and strength as individuals. In fact, these new technical advancements give people even more possibilities to extent their character and let them choose the way they develop themselves due to more opportunities.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 457, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
...Consequently, it is pretty obvious that this this modern feature made it possible for peo...
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to become' or 'become'.
Suggestion: to become; become
...ith the activities which really help us becoming more mature and strong in our society. ...
Line 4, column 122, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
...is true especially when people suddenly loose their access to their smartphones and c...
Line 4, column 633, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
...p themselves due to more opportunities.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, apparently, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, look, nevertheless, really, so, still, thus, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 19.5258426966 15% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2238.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 415.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39277108434 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14282829945 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.578313253012 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 704.065955056 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5088510588 60.3974514979 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.875 118.986275619 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9375 23.4991977007 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5625 5.21951772744 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151984294842 0.243740707755 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0482280199057 0.0831039109588 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0403089416908 0.0758088955206 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0899808568006 0.150359130593 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0134453271334 0.0667264976115 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.1392134831 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.8420337079 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 100.480337079 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.