The luxuries and conveniences of life contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals
P#1
While the technology which is growing rapidly indeed brings us a luxuries and convenience life, some other problems may occur, for example, the reliance on phone or computer, what is even worse is the oblivion of writing by hand caused by overusing computer to conduct typing. So, some people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals, thus becoming the slave of technology. But after considering, I hold the view that the issue is not fully right, although to some extent it does happens.
P#2
Firstly, the contemporary life provides us with extraordinary convenience, which enables us to reach the place where we may be dreamed of. For example, nowadays variety kinds of transportations make it possible to us to travel to almost everywhere worldwide in a short vocation, which would never happen if there is no plane exists. So, we can see that by arming with modern technology a person can realize his goals on his own while he may need others’ help in those old times, which surely indicates that the contemporary life makes us stronger and more independent.
P#3
Besides the physically convenience, I think what is more inspiring is that in contemporary life the acquiring of knowledge can be easier, to be more specific, with the assistant of internet, not only can we study online, which could help conquer the hinder on going to school caused by pandemic, but also we can be aware of what happens everyday in the world through surfing the internet. The reduction of elitist lowering the bar of education, resulting in the open of the gate of knowledge world to normal people, which is a fantastic thing for the development of society.
P#4
However, we cannot deny that the addiction to technology will indeed cause dependence and thus is harmful. But we should view this issue in a broaden aspect as there may be individual spread and this could cause difference performance in using the technology, which has no representation. What’s more, we should compare life today with life in the old time rather than comparing people in the same era, which is not appropriate but many people has made this mistake. Thus, the issue may be announced in a wrong criterion.
P#5
In a word, I think a more aptly attitude is that admit the feats modern technology has achieve and agree that contemporary life do good to the quality of our life, but we should also be cautious to avert the addiction to technology. If only we can hold the balance, I am strongly convinced that the future of life with modern technology is optimistic, and we shouldn’t hold a negative view on contemporary life, which is why I don’t agree with the issue.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 258, Rule ID: ON_GOING[1]
Message: Did you mean 'ongoing'?
Suggestion: ongoing
...ne, which could help conquer the hinder on going to school caused by pandemic, but also ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 338, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ut also we can be aware of what happens everyday in the world through surfing the intern...
^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 141, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...rmful. But we should view this issue in a broaden aspect as there may be individual sprea...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 88, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'achieved'.
Suggestion: achieved
...t admit the feats modern technology has achieve and agree that contemporary life do goo...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, i think, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2297.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 467.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91862955032 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82640970375 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511777301927 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 724.5 704.065955056 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.1861988078 60.3974514979 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.071428571 118.986275619 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.3571428571 23.4991977007 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.21951772744 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.27889930804 0.243740707755 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102109981389 0.0831039109588 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.15198957186 0.0758088955206 200% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160608057102 0.150359130593 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116817354762 0.0667264976115 175% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.4 14.1392134831 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.8420337079 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.1743820225 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.89 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.