People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making
There are several factors that affect the behavior of people, and some people even argue that external factors are the ones that genuinely decide how people act. However, this essay will argue that this is not necessarily the case, and individuals factors sometimes matter more.
Admittedly, immediate situation and pressure from social rules and established conventions exert a crucial influence on people's behavior. For instance, it is widely known that there is a strong relationship between poverty and the criminal act. When people have little things to lose, they are more at risk of committing a crime to meet their basic needs. Similarly, individuals are likely to internalize a basic set of values and rules provided by society and adjust their behavior to it. It is plausible that people who are living in a democratic society with respect freedom of speech, thus not preventing others from expressing their views openly. In sum, how people behave sometimes depends on external forces.
However, some individuals defy situational and social pressure enforced on themselves and manage to govern their own behavior according to their beliefs or desire. For example, Martin Luther was a priest in a society where Christian church dominated, but he decided to defy the corruption of the church and severely criticized church in public. Luther also went on to translate the Latin Bible into the vernacular language, which is German Bible even though it was deemed inappropriate in those days. However, he was determined to do that because he believed it could make God's words more accessible to more people. In sum, the statement in question that only emphasizes external forces might not hold true in all circumstances.
In conclusion, while the statement appears plausible in some cases, the possibility of the actions that individuals can decide on their own cannot be ignored. It is more critical to take a compromising approach that views external force as an essential factor but not as a single, primary one.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, similarly, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 58.6224719101 67% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1697.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 327.0 442.535393258 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18960244648 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75192997938 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 215.323595506 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.574923547401 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 548.1 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.493200723 60.3974514979 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 113.133333333 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 5.21951772744 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261371443297 0.243740707755 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0722777942035 0.0831039109588 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0541422151939 0.0758088955206 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133808729991 0.150359130593 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036158803128 0.0667264976115 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.17 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 100.480337079 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.