Vehicles drives us from one place to another in a considerably short time, telephones connect people in different places without the trouble of travelling, and computers save us a lot of time to entertain ourselves when we finish our work. Living in a world of highly developed technology, we are indeed benefited a lot from hi-tech, and seem to enjoy an easier and a more efficient life than our ancestors ever had. However, even at the first look the efficiency which seems to give people more leisure time is the primary goal of technological advancement, I do not think it is the only primary goal of which we are trying to achieve.
The discussion must begin with the question that why do we need technology? The very first answer that comes to my mind is to improve our productivity, which is to increase our working efficiency, so I agree with the first half of the claim. But what do we need that efficiency for? Do we just need it because we can finish our work earlier than before and then entertain ourselves for the rest of our time? As far as I am concerned, the answer is no. It is true that almost everyone wants more leisure time, but the primary goal which invokes the advancement of technology is far more than that. For instance, when people were improving their means of medical treatment in order to try to fight against a kind of disease, I believe it is not "more leisure time" that came into their mind as a motivator, but rather "save more lives". Leisure time is good, but it is not essential, it is not like a problem which must be solved using advanced technology, so it is with a quite narrow scope one says that the primary goal is to have more leisure time. Pursuing more leisure time is only one of the many motivators that can make us eager to develop technology, and more often, I do not think it can outweigh the goal of "solve urgent problems".
Another primary goal which is also important is satisfying our own curiosities. Many researchers and inventors are not sure whether their scientific results or inventions can help people to do more things in a shorter time, or they do not even consider about efficiency, they just care about what the invention would be like when completed, for they just do it out of their own curiosities. And since these people contribute a lot to technological advancement, I think it is too absolute to rule out their intrinsic purposes, which might not even be that clear, to say that the primary goal is improving people's efficiency in order to let them have more leisure time.
In a view of a pragmatic person and a person who likes to have more leisure time, I certainly hope that the goal of technological advancement is to improve my efficiency, so I can have more time to enjoy myself. However, technology development bears more than just making us more leisure time, and so we cannot just conclude its primary goal in only one sentence like it does in the claim.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 46, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...er primary goal which is also important is satisfying our own curiosities. Many researchers a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, so, then, for instance, i think, kind of, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 33.0505617978 197% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2464.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 528.0 442.535393258 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66666666667 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7393880732 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431818181818 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 804.6 704.065955056 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 1.0 0.740449438202 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.77640449438 563% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 23.0359550562 135% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.933651135 60.3974514979 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.941176471 118.986275619 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.0588235294 23.4991977007 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.23529411765 5.21951772744 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355239891364 0.243740707755 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131299010024 0.0831039109588 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0839296189731 0.0758088955206 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234399626835 0.150359130593 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0514634508852 0.0667264976115 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.1392134831 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 48.8420337079 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.4 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 100.480337079 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 11.8971910112 164% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.2143820225 128% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.7820224719 170% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.