Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior. Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
'A child's mind is like clay used to make pots, it can be moulded in any form depending on the potter'. While various forms of media can have a profound effect on the minds of the children and cause them to take the path of violence, in my opinion, it is the children's peers and friends who have much stronger effect on their personalities as compared to the former. I hold this point of view for several reason which I will explore in the essay. First, children spend majority of their childhood days with their parents. They usually tend to idolize their mother and father. Thus, the behavior of the parents tends to affect the children a lot. Children that come from broken homes or those who have dysfunctional families or those whose parents exhibit violent tendancies tend to penchant towards violence themselves too. For instance, a boy who has seen his alcoholic father being violent towards him as well as towards others, is highly likely to grow up assuming that this is an acceptable behavior tendancy. Hence, the odds that he will himself be a violent individual are very high. Therefore, since children look up to their parents, the behavior of the parents has one of the most powerful influences on the kids. Apart from their parents, the children spend most of time with their peers. Thus, the peers will have a profound effect on them too. Many-a-times children tend to imitate the bellicose behaviors of their peers so as to fit in with them or prevent themseleves from being bullied. For example, a boy who was initially docile may have been bullied frequently by his classmates. Hence, he himself started developing an aggressive attitude to prevent this. After a change in his behavior, the children who initially used to hector him, may start to be his friends due their similar aggressive natures. This is how, peers have a particular great effect on influence a young mind and causing him to become a violent individual. While it is true that, various forms of media today like sitcoms or movies tend to glorify violence. This can certainly affect a child's malleable mind who may begin to think that violence is acceptable because of the way it is potrayed in the media. However, if the child has a good family and friends, they can always prevent him from slipping into the path of violence. Therefore, in my opinion it is the parents and the peers who have the maximum influence on a child's personality and can cause him to adopt violent paths. This is because, children tend to associate the most with their peers and tend to look up to their parents. Therefore their behaviors affect the child the most.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 395, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: 'several reasons'.
Suggestion: several reasons
...e former. I hold this point of view for several reason which I will explore in the essay. Firs...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 1431, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... the bellicose behaviors of their peers so as to fit in with them or prevent themseleves...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 2576, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...s and tend to look up to their parents. Therefore their behaviors affect the child the mo...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, look, may, so, therefore, thus, well, while, apart from, as to, for example, for instance, as well as, in my opinion, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 33.0505617978 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 58.6224719101 109% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 459.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72549019608 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50115954142 2.79657885939 89% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461873638344 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 658.8 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.0193157397 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.3043478261 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9565217391 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.73913043478 5.21951772744 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 4.97078651685 20% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159336319811 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0517750430137 0.0831039109588 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0517904875493 0.0758088955206 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159336319811 0.150359130593 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0667264976115 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.8420337079 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.1743820225 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.