The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position
What would be the best way to evaluate the greatness of a nation? It could be the current economical status, political advancement, or the value of history. The statement above argues that the greatness of a country cannot be assessed by studying the contributions of individuals but only by the general welfare of its people. While I agree with that the general public welfare is important when evaluating a nation, cannot fully agree that the achievements of great individuals should be neglected for the following reasons.
First of all, the achievements of a nation’s rulers, artists, scholars, or scientists are one of the main factors that affect the well-being of its people. If we simply ignore such great contributions made by the experts, we may not be able to fully understand the general welfare condition of the public. Gough Whitlam, for example, is a previous Prime Minister of Australia who initiated Medicare, one of the most universal medical systems in the world. Without his achievement, which was drawn from his adamant and firm commitment, the general welfare of Australia in these days would not have ranked this high among the other countries, which are still suffer from unstable and insufficient medical system. This shows that the achievements of individuals surely affect the well-being of the public, and thus, without considering such contribution, it is difficult to assess only the general welfare.
Seconldly, it is critical to note that the general welfare of the public can be better assessed if we survey how individuals make achievements in their field of endeavor. The better implemented the general welfare system is, the more likely individuals can succeed in his or her field, which in turn result in groundbreaking achievements. It is not a simple coincident that there have been a number of renowned scientists and social philosophers from Germany. Germany is known for its advanced education system, which encourages critical and liberal thinking ability. Such educational welfare enabled individuals can make significant achievements in their study. Thus, to better assess the greatness of a nation by studying the general welfare of the public, we should not overlook how efficiently individuals can make achievement in their realm.
Of course, some may still argue that without fully understanding the achievements of experts, but only with the welfare system of a nation, it is possible to make a proper conclusion of the greatness of a nation. Again, however, it is not possible to simply assess the well-being of the public without taking into consideration of great achievements of individuals since they have directly and indirectly affected the current welfare of a nation. Koreans, for example, speak their own language which was invented in 15th century by the King Sejong. His achievement, creating a new set of letters, has lowered the illiteracy rate significantly, and this has contributed to the rapid economical development of Korea in 20th century. Thus, it is almost impossible to evaluate the general well-being without ignoring the achievements made by individuals.
Although the argument that only the welfare of the public is important when assessing the greatness of a nation may seem feasible, we should consider the relationship between the general welfare and the achievements of individuals. Without considering the contributions made by political figures, education leaders, and rulers, it is not possible to properly evaluate a nation’s greatness.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
The three arguments are relatively similar. Need more arguments in different perspectives, like:
Admittedly, the overriding imperative of any democratic state is to enhance the general welfare of its citizenry. Yet the speaker fails to provide a clear litmus test for measuring that welfare.
Many scientific achievements serve to enhance a nation’s general welfare. Artistic achievement is also needed to make a nation a better place for humans overall.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 556 350
No. of Characters: 2902 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.856 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.219 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.983 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 233 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 179 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.035 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...ss of a nation? It could be the current economical status, political advancement, or the v...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...its people. While I agree with that the general public welfare is important when evaluating a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 663, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'suffered'.
Suggestion: suffered
...ng the other countries, which are still suffer from unstable and insufficient medical ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 683, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
..., and this has contributed to the rapid economical development of Korea in 20th century. T...
^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'still', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'for example', 'in fact', 'of course', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.231629392971 0.240241500013 96% => OK
Verbs: 0.129392971246 0.157235817809 82% => OK
Adjectives: 0.103833865815 0.0880659088768 118% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0543130990415 0.0497285424764 109% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0431309904153 0.0444667217837 97% => OK
Prepositions: 0.132587859425 0.12292977631 108% => OK
Participles: 0.0399361022364 0.0406280797675 98% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.09493024809 2.79330140395 111% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0159744408946 0.030933414821 52% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.11661341853 0.0997080785238 117% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0239616613419 0.0249443105267 96% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0191693290735 0.0148568991511 129% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3541.0 2732.02544248 130% => OK
No of words: 556.0 452.878318584 123% => OK
Chars per words: 6.36870503597 6.0361032391 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85588840946 4.58838876751 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.428057553957 0.366273622748 117% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.352517985612 0.280924506359 125% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.244604316547 0.200843997647 122% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.161870503597 0.132149295362 122% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09493024809 2.79330140395 111% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 219.290929204 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43345323741 0.48968727796 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 50.8862184269 55.4138127331 92% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6194690265 107% => OK
Sentence length: 25.2727272727 23.380412469 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.397025373 59.4972553346 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.954545455 141.124799967 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2727272727 23.380412469 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.681818181818 0.674092028746 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.21349557522 77% => OK
Readability: 60.5245258339 51.4728631049 118% => OK
Elegance: 1.78169014085 1.64882698954 108% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.622839416179 0.391690518653 159% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.142792225658 0.123202303941 116% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0918154969571 0.077325440228 119% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.593338014321 0.547984918172 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.168255498909 0.149214159877 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.283769919993 0.161403998019 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118687416881 0.0892212321368 133% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.57479352773 0.385218514788 149% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0460535359893 0.0692045440612 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.490781544212 0.275328986314 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489235247602 0.0653680567796 75% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.4325221239 125% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.30420353982 94% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88274336283 82% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 7.22455752212 125% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 3.66592920354 136% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.70907079646 111% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 13.5995575221 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.