the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity. in 2010(Cambridge Academic 12).

Essay topics:

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity. in 2010(Cambridge Academic 12).

The information provided by given chart illustrates the relevant proportions of Australian men and women of various age groups doing regular exercises in 2010.

As it has shown, the amount of males' daily activities which started in 15 years old is high, over 50 percentage, keep decreasing gradually until the age of 35. This activity rate, however, rose again after next group, 44 years old age. In contrast, the females' information revealed that they had a smaller figure of percentage in the same period, nearly 44.7 percent, and it grew up to around 53 percent over time. It is just in 55 and above that women tend to less physical actions by approximately 47.1 percentage.

Moreover, the chart does depict a distinct difference among male and female categories except the age of 35 to 44, and reversely, there is no significant differences when it comes to above 65 group. Moreover, women aged 45 to 54 could reach the peak by 53.3 percentage compared to the men of same age.
In comparison, a total fluctuated flow represented in both genders' figures based on current graph, although in overall, Australian female community have a more tendency in terms of engaging actively in physical works than that of men.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 359, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'females'' or 'female's'?
Suggestion: females'; female's
... again after their 44. In contrast, the females information revealed that they had a le...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 566, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'action'?
Suggestion: action
...bove that women tend to a less physical actions. Moreover, the chart does depict a dist...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, moreover, in conclusion, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 7.0 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 1.00243902439 200% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 6.8 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 9.0 5.60731707317 161% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 25.0 33.7804878049 74% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.97073170732 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 761.0 965.302439024 79% => OK
No of words: 160.0 196.424390244 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75625 4.92477711251 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.55655882008 3.73543355544 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63980941547 2.65546596893 99% => OK
Unique words: 111.0 106.607317073 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.69375 0.547539520022 127% => OK
syllable_count: 231.3 283.868780488 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.482926829268 414% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.4926829268 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1315775687 43.030603864 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.714285714 112.824112599 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8571428571 22.9334400587 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.71428571429 5.23603664747 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 3.83414634146 26% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 1.69756097561 118% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222400044898 0.215688989381 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0976853393244 0.103423049105 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117690803484 0.0843802449381 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.222400044898 0.15604864568 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0819641961636 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.2329268293 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 61.2550243902 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.3012195122 92% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 11.4140731707 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.06136585366 106% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 40.7170731707 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.9970731707 98% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum two paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.