The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia.https://www.ielts-exam.net/images/graphs/g9.gifhttps://www.ielts-exam.net/images/graphs/g10.gif

Essay topics:

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia.

https://www.ielts-exam.net/images/graphs/g9.gif
https://www.ielts-exam.net/images/graphs/g10.gif

The graphs provide data in 6 sectors of employment by male and female in Freedonia between 1975 and 1995. There were significant changes between women and men employment between the two decades.
In 1975, men led employment in all 6 sectors especially in manufacturing, banking and public sector defence. For instance, some 650 000 men worked in manufacturing while only 300 000 women worked in the sector. Same goes in banking with 400 000 men worked; as compare to 170 000 women employment. Not many women worked in public sector defence while almost 250 000 men worked.
However, women did a remark progress in communication, banking and whole sale and retail trade sectors of employment in 1995. After 20 years later, women led whole sale and retail trade with 800 000 employees as compared to 700 000 male employment. There was no progress in men in that sector with the same figure of employment in 1975. In communication, women employment increased to almost 600 000 employees while there was no increment in men employee. Women employee became almost the same number of men employee in banking in 1995. The women employment in public sector defence increased to 100 000 women even though that was not significant.
Over two decades, women in Freedonia make progress in most of the workforce while men workforce remain steady.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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The graphs provide data in 6 sectors of ...
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...en employment between the two decades. In 1975, men led employment in all 6 sec...
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...ence while almost 250 000 men worked. However, women did a remark progress in ...
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...omen employment in public sector defence increased to 100 000 women even though t...
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...even though that was not significant. Over two decades, women in Freedonia mak...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, while, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.0 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 6.8 103% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 2.0 5.60731707317 36% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 33.7804878049 115% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 3.97073170732 403% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1117.0 965.302439024 116% => OK
No of words: 224.0 196.424390244 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98660714286 4.92477711251 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.86867284054 3.73543355544 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7027148518 2.65546596893 102% => OK
Unique words: 102.0 106.607317073 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455357142857 0.547539520022 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 324.0 283.868780488 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 8.94146341463 145% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.4926829268 76% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 15.4303167354 43.030603864 36% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.9230769231 112.824112599 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2307692308 22.9334400587 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.76923076923 5.23603664747 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 3.70975609756 216% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101591207079 0.215688989381 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0567174911142 0.103423049105 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0760629802695 0.0843802449381 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787883013426 0.15604864568 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0630054648497 0.0819641961636 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 13.2329268293 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 61.2550243902 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.3012195122 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 11.4140731707 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.23 8.06136585366 90% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 40.7170731707 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.4329268293 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.9970731707 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.0658536585 63% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.