The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Essay topics:

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie charts compare how differently boys and girls take part in leisure and cultural activities.

Overall, the highest number of boys was interested in playing computer games, while many girls took part in dancing activity.

First, over one third of boys played computer games, followed by one quarter of them played basketball. 
A small fraction of boys took part in soccer, skate boarding and listening to music activities  with the least amount of them interested in reading with 17%,11%,10% and 2%. Boys showed the least amount of liking for reading, with a mere 2% of them taking part in this activity.

Second, over one fourth and one fifth of the girls took part in dancing and reading, respectively. Whereas a considerable amount of girls interested in computer games, netball, gymnastics and listening to music with a percentile of 16%,15%,11% and 10%.

Finally, to recapitulate boys’ and girls' interests contradict in reading and both have a common interest in listening to music and computer games .

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &nbsp
...ure and cultural activities. Overall, the highest number of boys was interest...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 110, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...quarter of them played basketball.  A small fraction of boys took part in so...
^^^
Line 10, column 151, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...in listening to music and computer games .
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, if, second, so, third, whereas, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 1.0 7.0 14% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 6.8 162% => OK
Relative clauses : 0.0 3.15609756098 0% => OK
Pronoun: 4.0 5.60731707317 71% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 33.7804878049 92% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 883.0 965.302439024 91% => OK
No of words: 164.0 196.424390244 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38414634146 4.92477711251 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.57858190836 3.73543355544 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12594521977 2.65546596893 118% => OK
Unique words: 85.0 106.607317073 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.518292682927 0.547539520022 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 251.1 283.868780488 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.33902439024 69% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.4926829268 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.1814330186 43.030603864 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.142857143 112.824112599 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4285714286 22.9334400587 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 5.23603664747 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 3.83414634146 156% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 3.70975609756 162% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.09268292683 24% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.128125098926 0.215688989381 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0694532878398 0.103423049105 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0435755030874 0.0843802449381 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0717211857334 0.15604864568 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0457013891308 0.0819641961636 56% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.2329268293 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 61.2550243902 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.3012195122 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 11.4140731707 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 33.0 40.7170731707 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.4329268293 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.9970731707 102% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.0658536585 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.