During a recent plane journey you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants

Essay topics:

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Dear sir,
I am penning this letter to cue you of our meeting on a flight that you just were boarding from urban center to city. i used to be sitting next to you. whereas exchanging thoughts on a general topic, you mentioned that you just were searching for a senior manager for the management of your chain of restaurants. i'd wish to offer my services for this post.
I have completed my master's in business administration from Panjab university within the year 2010. After that, I joined an area company as an associate degree assistant manager. once gaining expertise of three years I applied for the post of manager in a very prestigious 5-star edifice in our city and that I worked there for nearly seven years. Now, I notice myself applicable for the post of senior manager in your building thus I'm attaching my CV with this letter.
Moreover, I'm an exceptional speaker and event manager. I organized and managed several national and international conferences in my previous geographic point. I will handle any tough state of affairs thanks to my calm and positive perspective. I even have down the talents of managing individuals. Therefore, I feel I'll stand out at your set standards.
I would be grateful to you if you think about ME for this post. I foresee to hearing you shortly
yours sincerely,
KIRAN

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 118, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...were boarding from urban center to city i used to be sitting next to you whereas ...
^
Line 3, column 428, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...of senior manager in your building thus Im attaching my CV with this letter Moreo...
^^
Line 4, column 10, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...aching my CV with this letter Moreover Im an exceptional speaker and event manage...
^^
Line 4, column 311, Rule ID: ILL_I_LL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I'll'?
Suggestion: I'll
...f managing individuals Therefore I feel Ill stand out at your set standards I woul...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, whereas, i feel

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.48453608247 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 4.92783505155 41% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 5.05154639175 99% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 32.9175257732 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 26.3917525773 121% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.85567010309 52% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1071.0 937.175257732 114% => OK
No of words: 229.0 206.0 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6768558952 4.54256449028 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.89008302616 3.78020617076 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6953810214 2.54303337028 106% => OK
Unique words: 142.0 127.690721649 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.620087336245 0.622605031667 100% => OK
syllable_count: 342.0 290.88556701 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.13402061856 44% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 12.6804123711 8% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 229.0 16.3608247423 1400% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 44.8134815571 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1071.0 76.5299724578 1399% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 229.0 16.8248392259 1361% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 50.0 4.34317383033 1151% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 2.54639175258 157% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 7.41237113402 13% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139533277682 0.216113520407 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139533277682 0.0766984524023 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0603063233224 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108916544721 0.12726935374 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108979657677 0.0580467560999 188% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 115.1 8.37731958763 1374% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -152.5 70.7449484536 -216% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 3.82989690722 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 91.4 7.45979381443 1225% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.34 8.71597938144 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 18.65 7.59969072165 245% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 53.0 41.2886597938 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 54.0 8.62886597938 626% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 93.6 8.54432989691 1095% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 94.0 8.15463917526 1153% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.