A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Essay topics:

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to profoundly thank your organisation for the decision to spend money for the benefit of our community. I deeply appreciate your readiness to sponsor a local junior sports team or alternatively arrange two open-air concerts.

Needless to say, financial support to a children's sports team will be notably advantageous for both the team and your business. With your sponsorship, they will surely get advanced training which will develop their potential in sports and in parallel promote your brand. Perhaps, a few of them will bring glory in professional competitions in the future to make us proud as a community.

On the other hand, arranging two open-air concerts is also a great idea as people will immensely enjoy the performance and some local bands would get the chance to show their talents. It certainly will promote our culture and heritage.

I am positive either of your initiatives will serve our community greatly. However, supporting the local sports team has a more eminent result than escalating the music fans by sponsoring concerts, I believe. Concerts would be temporary entertainments for the local people, but provision for the young sportsmen will be remembered for a long and would give us many occasions to celebrate and be proud of.

Once again thank you for a commendable initiative.

Yours faithfully,

Edward Jenkins

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 191, Rule ID: OR_ALTERNATIVELY[1]
Message: Use simply 'or'.
Suggestion: or
...s to sponsor a local junior sports team or alternatively arrange two open-air concerts. Nee...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, so, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 7.48453608247 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 4.92783505155 244% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 5.05154639175 178% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.03092783505 33% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 32.9175257732 67% => OK
Preposition: 20.0 26.3917525773 76% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.85567010309 52% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1187.0 937.175257732 127% => OK
No of words: 224.0 206.0 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29910714286 4.54256449028 117% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.86867284054 3.78020617076 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90028463922 2.54303337028 114% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 127.690721649 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.625 0.622605031667 100% => OK
syllable_count: 355.5 290.88556701 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.13402061856 77% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 1.44329896907 139% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 12.6804123711 95% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 16.3608247423 110% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1111975238 44.8134815571 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.9166666667 76.5299724578 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 16.8248392259 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.41666666667 4.34317383033 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 7.41237113402 162% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313627261526 0.216113520407 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108759350955 0.0766984524023 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.076714793217 0.0603063233224 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178685701293 0.12726935374 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103901845635 0.0580467560999 179% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 8.37731958763 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 70.7449484536 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 7.45979381443 138% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 8.71597938144 154% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 7.59969072165 120% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 41.2886597938 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 8.62886597938 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 8.54432989691 108% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.