A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.Write a letter to the com

Essay topics:

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company.

describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team

summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts

say how you think the company should spend the money

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to convey my gratitude for your attention to spend a reasonable amount of money from your corporate account to entertain and facilitate the local public in my area.

I understand from the leaflet which has recently been circulated that your organization has two options to spend the above-mentioned money, and would like to decide which option to opt based on the resident’s feedback.

I would like to say that sponsoring the local children for sports event would help them learn new techniques, and enable them to polish their skills while playing with international players from across the globe. Besides, they will get international exposure which is essential to build their confidence to win under pressure batches.

Perhaps, people could also get entertainment while attending an open-air concert as this is one of the best ways to rewind stress from their daily routine which is important for people to gear up for the week ahead. Also, they will get a chance to listen to live music from their favorite singers as it is usually very expensive to invite them to the public’s performance.

Considering the above-mentioned positives, I presume that the organization should spend this fund to sponsor local children for sports events rather than arrange a musical concert as it would be a temporary enjoyment for residents.

I hope, my suggestion would help you to take the final decision.

Yours faithfully,

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to convey my gr...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... on the resident's feedback. I would like to say that sponsoring the l...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.48453608247 80% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 4.92783505155 183% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 5.05154639175 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.03092783505 231% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 30.0 32.9175257732 91% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 26.3917525773 136% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 3.85567010309 207% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1256.0 937.175257732 134% => OK
No of words: 238.0 206.0 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27731092437 4.54256449028 116% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.92775363542 3.78020617076 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94028798105 2.54303337028 116% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 127.690721649 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.613445378151 0.622605031667 99% => OK
syllable_count: 374.4 290.88556701 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.463917525773 431% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 12.6804123711 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 16.3608247423 177% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.9855389025 44.8134815571 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.0 76.5299724578 205% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 29.75 16.8248392259 177% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 4.34317383033 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.29896907216 140% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 7.41237113402 121% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299572474152 0.216113520407 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106353692208 0.0766984524023 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0773419077787 0.0603063233224 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13680633052 0.12726935374 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0765132091871 0.0580467560999 132% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 8.37731958763 218% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 70.7449484536 59% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 7.45979381443 196% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.94 8.71597938144 160% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 7.59969072165 117% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 41.2886597938 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 8.62886597938 220% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 13.6 8.54432989691 159% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 8.15463917526 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.