Task 1 You are going to another country to study You would like to do a part time job while you are studying so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help Write a letter to your friend In your letter give details of your study plans explain wh

Essay topics:

Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter,
• give details of your study plans
• explain why you want to get a part-time job
• suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Rose,
You would be delighted to know that I am coming to Canada for my further studies and would like to get your assistance in finding a part-time job.
Although it was challenging to score a seat in “Humber College” in Toronto, Ontario, my excellent grades of graduation made it possible. I am coming to pursue a course in “Web designing and Development” which has 4 semesters. this was never my plan to study abroad, but after struggling for a year in job market and realising the fact that specialised course is quite imperative, I have made this decision.
Now, after getting visa, I came across the fact a student can work for 20 hours per week along with studies. I found this opportunity very elating as I would be able to support myself by earning enough for my living expenses, reducing a colossal amount of burden of my parents.
Keeping this in mind, I wanted to your assistance in this new journey. I suppose, being there for 3 years, you would have made many acquaintances which could offer me some small jobs. Moreover, I know you have switched job many a times so, asking from your past employers could also be a great help for me. You have always been there for me and this time, too, I am expecting the same from such a humble person alike you.
Thank you in advance and hoping for a positive revert.
Yours truly,
Anna.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 29, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'scoring'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: scoring
...rttime job Although it was challenging to score a seat in Humber College in Toronto On...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing to score a seat in Humber College in Toronto Ontario my excellent grades of g...
^^
Line 4, column 273, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... colossal amount of burden of my parents Keeping this in mind I wanted to your as...
^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a time' or simply 'times'?
Suggestion: a time; times
...eover I know you have switched job many a times so asking from your past employers coul...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r a positive revert Yours truly Anna
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, moreover, so, i suppose

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 7.48453608247 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 4.92783505155 142% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 5.05154639175 119% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 32.9175257732 118% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 26.3917525773 106% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.85567010309 130% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1080.0 937.175257732 115% => OK
No of words: 244.0 206.0 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.4262295082 4.54256449028 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.95227774224 3.78020617076 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42061545875 2.54303337028 95% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 127.690721649 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.614754098361 0.622605031667 99% => OK
syllable_count: 343.8 290.88556701 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.13402061856 22% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 12.6804123711 8% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 244.0 16.3608247423 1491% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 44.8134815571 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1080.0 76.5299724578 1411% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 244.0 16.8248392259 1450% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 34.0 4.34317383033 783% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 2.54639175258 196% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 7.41237113402 13% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289296505024 0.216113520407 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.289296505024 0.0766984524023 377% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0603063233224 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15627352822 0.12726935374 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.090147499179 0.0580467560999 155% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 121.4 8.37731958763 1449% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -159.26 70.7449484536 -225% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 3.82989690722 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 96.1 7.45979381443 1288% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 9.89 8.71597938144 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 18.91 7.59969072165 249% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 49.0 41.2886597938 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 54.0 8.62886597938 626% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 99.6 8.54432989691 1166% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 54.0 8.15463917526 662% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.