In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, international telecommunications and transport networks have increase people's mobility and independence. Each country around the world is not absolutely isolated from others, with the increasing trend of people migration globally. Although there are some drawbacks for people with different cultural backgrounds living and working together, from my view, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the details will be discussed in this essay by analyzing the both sides of this argument.
Admittedly, people from different cultures might conflict with each other in areas of customs and language. A good example is that people with different religions might have different lifestyle. The difference in lifestyle would possibly lead to certain level of confliction. Furthermore, in order to communicate smoothly in a multiple-cultures society, people have to put more efforts on learning a common language and understanding other people's lifestyles.
On the other hand, the various cultural backgrounds of residents would help to create a wide range of variety of culture. Such variety might help the country develop itself to an economic hub. Singapore is a good example that more and more foreigners are encouraged to immigrate there due to its encouraging policy of immigration in last decade. The diverse cultures help Singapore develop fast on economic area and become an international economic hub in Asia eventually. Cultural and language diversities promote the economic development. In addition, the conflicts of different cultures might help people think out of the box and stimulate the creative ideas. Similarly, Unite States' fast developments on technology in last few decades are also proved to have a close relationship with the culture diversity.
In conclusion, various cultures in same society might cause some disadvantages such as language barriers, but overall, I still believe the advantages outweigh disadvantages in terms of promoting economic and social development.
Comments
how about the revision like
how about the revision like this:
1. Each country around the world is not absolutely isolated from others, with the increasing trend of migration globally.
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Sentence: Each country around the world is not absolutely isolated from others, with the increasing trend of people migration globally.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and migration
2. Admittedly, people from different cultures might be incompatible conflict with each other in areas of customs and language.
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might conflict with each other
Description: check books how to use 'conflict'
3. The difference in lifestyle would possibly lead to a certain level of misunderstanding.
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Sentence: The difference in lifestyle would possibly lead to certain level of confliction.
Error: confliction Suggestion: No alternate word
have increase people's mobility
have increased people's mobility
Sentence: Each country around the world is not absolutely isolated from others, with the increasing trend of people migration globally.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and migration
from my view, I believe
Description: dupliccated phrases. one is enough.
I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the details will be discussed in this essay
I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the details will be discussed in this essay
might conflict with each other
Description: check books how to use 'conflict'
have different lifestyle.
have different lifestyles.
Sentence: The difference in lifestyle would possibly lead to certain level of confliction.
Error: confliction Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 299 350
No. of Characters: 1682 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.158 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.625 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.122 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5