Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.To what extent do you agree with these views? | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree with these views?

Not too long ago advertising was not nearly as popular as at the moment. In recent years the advertising has brought a profound influence on high sales of popular consumer goods. This phenomenon is alarming market experts who argue that this can encourage people to buy a particular product which they do not really need. I have been supporting the perception inasmuch as people are more likely to be hypnotized by advertising to buy goods even though in some cases some people argue that they have found the goods which they need by seeing advertisement.

Advertising will persuade people to buy product which they actually do not really need. This is because a content of the advertisement which consists of song, short movie, or pictures has attracted people to buy what the advertisement promotes. As a straightforward example, stopwatch product which is advertised by screen entertaining devices has been persuading people to buy that kind of product. As a result, the stopwatch company has raised the highest sales for several years. Another instance can be seen that advertising of Sony Aiwa, a radio product which can connect to Bluetooth, is completely encouraging a majority of Indonesian youngsters to buy the electronic whereas they do not need the product in their predictability of everyday life.

On the other hand, several communities are helped to find a particular thing they need by seeing an advertisement. Owing to a main purpose of advertisement, people are informed particular products to their needs. To illustrate, a group of radio announcers in India argues that they are really helped to find a portable radio, Sony Aiwa which can connect to their mobile phones. So as to usefulness of the product, nearly 90% broadcasters in the country use the product to support their duties. Thus, the company of the product gets a higher profit because of the higher sales of the product. More evidence of this case is provided by survey which was conducted by California University in 2013. The result shows that third quarters American citizens agree that advertising helps them to find the right particular product which they need.

The aforementioned evidence shows that the power of advertising has been evoking people to buy products they do not really need; several people, however, argue that advertisement is completely helpful for finding a certain product. It is imperative that the people should be selectively choosing goods that they need by selecting and filtering the advertisement.

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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

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Full essay evaluations

a group of radio announcers in India argues that they are really helped
a group of radio announcers in India argue that they are really helped

So as to usefulness of the product,
Description: Check books how to use 'So as to',

flaws:
No. of Words: 409 while No. of Different Words: 188

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 2068 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.056 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.895 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Why you give me only 5.5?,

Why you give me only 5.5?, you know, I have to go the extra mile to be able to write 400 words in 40 minutes. when I participate in IELTS workshop in IDP, the tutor ( he is the examiner) said that I have to write balance view (two examples for agree and disagree. he also said that the most important thing that we have to answer the question regardless the structure.

Therefore, could you give more reasons why you give me 5.5?

I am really dispointed with this score as I got 6.5 for my last IELTS test using this pattern.

First of all, look at the

First of all, look at the flaws:
No. of Words: 409 while No. of Different Words: 188

This is a big warning to you to pay attention to the language and structure no matter how you are going to organize the content.

The ideal condition is:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Second, regarding the examples, two examples for one reason in one paragraph are too much in our point of view. Either you misunderstand the examiner or the examiner didn't give you a proper tutorial. We think, one example for reason is enough.

Let's check out the structure of this paragraph:

Topic sentence:
Advertising will persuade people to buy product which they actually do not really need.

then you give a reason:
This is because a content of the advertisement which consists of song, short movie, or pictures has attracted people to buy what the advertisement promotes.

example 1:
As a straightforward example, stopwatch product which is advertised by screen entertaining devices has been persuading people to buy that kind of product. As a result, the stopwatch company has raised the highest sales for several years.

example 2:
Another instance can be seen that advertising of Sony Aiwa, a radio product which can connect to Bluetooth, is completely encouraging a majority of Indonesian youngsters to buy the electronic whereas they do not need the product in their predictability of everyday life.

like this:
reason(one sentence) + why reason(one sentence)+ example 1 + example 2

Look, most of the content are examples.

Now look at the correct way suggested by testbig, you will see for one reason one example only, but more arguments:
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paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.

paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + one example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + one example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...

paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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You don't need to develop a lot of content for examples. 1-2 sentences are enough. like this:

Paragraph 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 1-2 sentences) + one example for reason 1 (1-2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences. you can use survey here too).

If you want 4 paragraphs instead of 5 paragraphs, still you can use two examples in one paragraph, but for two reasons not for one reason.

When you have more arguments, No. of Different Words will be more. and then you will get more credits.

We would suggest you read more essays by top users and take advantages of their writing skills:

and more:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/ielts

Let us know if you have more questions.