In many parts of world, children have been allowed to have certain work and got paid. Although, salaried jobs may have some benefits, I do not agree with this trend.
Clearly, there are several benefits that a paid work can provide for school-age children. Firstly, in terms of career, starting a paid job at school age would offer children with a chance to gain real work experience. Secondly, on an individual level, children who have salaried employment seem likely to be more mature. As a matter of fact, it is doing a paid job that enables children to learn how to deal with pressure at work and manage his or her budget in life. Finally earning money by selling work can help teenagers take on the responsibility for their own future. For example, profits from their jobs can be channeled back into daily demands likely snacks, clothes or their academic tuition payment.
However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Firstly, for many children, it is spending a great deal of time doing a paid work that discourages school-age children from participating in recreational activities. For example, devoting a whole day to work would leave children are not enough energy to do any physical sports such as swimming. Secondly, there is evidence that increasing working time is associated with decrease academy outcomes. In fact, children may fall behind their peers and even drop out of schools due to lack of time to consolidate our knowledge they have learned at school.
In conclusion, paid works have some benefits. In my view, I believe that children should not be engaged in paid employment because of its potential drawbacks.
In many parts of world, children have been allowed to have certain work and got paid. Although, salaried jobs may have some benefits, I do not agree with this trend.
Clearly, there are several benefits that a paid work can provide for school-age children. Firstly, in terms of career, starting a paid job at school age would offer children with a chance to gain real work experience. Secondly, on an individual level, children who have salaried employment seem likely to be more mature. As a matter of fact, it is doing a paid job that enables children to learn how to deal with pressure at work and manage his or her budget in life. Finally earning money by selling work can help teenagers take on the responsibility for their own future. For example, profits from their jobs can be channeled back into daily demands likely snacks, clothes or their academic tuition payment.
However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Firstly, for many children, it is spending a great deal of time doing a paid work that discourages school-age children from participating in recreational activities. For example, devoting a whole day to work would leave children are not enough energy to do any physical sports such as swimming. Secondly, there is evidence that increasing working time is associated with decrease academy outcomes. In fact, children may fall behind their peers and even drop out of schools due to lack of time to consolidate our knowledge they have learned at school.
In conclusion, paid works have some benefits. In my view, I believe that children should not be engaged in paid employment because of its potential drawbacks.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...k and manage his or her budget in life. Finally earning money by selling work can help ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 47, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...clusion, paid works have some benefits. In my view, I believe that children should...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a matter of fact, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 24.0651302605 96% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1394.0 1615.20841683 86% => OK
No of words: 280.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97857142857 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66916443396 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.596428571429 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 423.9 506.74238477 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.5767847213 49.4020404114 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.9333333333 106.682146367 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 20.7667163134 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.46666666667 7.06120827912 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.640585788092 0.244688304435 262% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.225154416408 0.084324248473 267% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.179339191332 0.0667982634062 268% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.441148789106 0.151304729494 292% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.219370854522 0.056905535591 386% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 13.0946893788 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 50.2224549098 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.3001002004 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.58950901804 93% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 78.4519038076 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.