The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years Many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their childre

Essay topics:

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Submitted by drjanck82 on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 21:25

Women have made their place in this modern world gradually in past 2 decades. Many citizens, believe issues relating to young children like juvenile delinquency, is due to mothers are not present at home to look after their kids. I certainly disagree, to this outlook and would argue that changes of hormone in young children, which making them attracted towards outside world is the major cause.

Firstly, young children are developing the sense of freedom. During this stage of life they get influenced by their friends and have less capability of reasoning the correct path. Secondly, pocket money provided often falls less to full-fill their desires moreover leading them to choose the path of crime. Finally, young children nowadays prefer less interaction of parents in their daily activities. So I believe at this step of life father plays the crucial role to guide the correct path.

However, even mothers if not at home can have regular meet-up with teachers to known about the performance and the behaviour of the child. Furthermore, mothers can also have interactions with the child's friends to know them. Nevertheless, One of the research shows including a young child in everyday discussion and opinion making task makes them more responsible and mature to handle these kind of situations. Therefore the onus is not just on mother to protect child from committing crime it is of family.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that only professional mothers are not responsible for the causes of the juvenile offence. As fathers also play the role in shaping their young children.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (20 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 197, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oning the correct path. Secondly, pocket money provided often falls less to full-...
^^
Line 5, column 387, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...m more responsible and mature to handle these kind of situations. Therefore the onus is no...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 413, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ure to handle these kind of situations. Therefore the onus is not just on mother to prote...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 126, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...for the causes of the juvenile offence. As fathers also play the role in shaping t...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, in conclusion, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 7.30460921844 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1338.0 1615.20841683 83% => OK
No of words: 260.0 315.596192385 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14615384615 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01553427287 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62048145899 2.80592935109 93% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 176.041082164 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.619230769231 0.561755894193 110% => OK
syllable_count: 406.8 506.74238477 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.9045238088 49.4020404114 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.5714285714 106.682146367 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5714285714 20.7667163134 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1428571429 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130313549419 0.244688304435 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0454208451782 0.084324248473 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.036586247283 0.0667982634062 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0823503150381 0.151304729494 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441648328743 0.056905535591 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 13.0946893788 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 50.2224549098 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 78.4519038076 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.