Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Apparently, there is a common prejudice that athletes or those who work in the entertainment industry do not deserve to be paid more than professional workers such as doctors, nurses or teachers. It is due to the fact that people believe knowledge worker can make a much greater contribution to the country. Nonetheless, I am totally against this notion as it is awfully wrongheaded.
At the outset, there is no denying that entertainment personalities definitely exert a positively profound impact on the development of the society. Initially, it is a common knowledge that these celebrities who apply themselves to develop their skills, capacities, and manifest attempts are an enormously inspirational source for teenagers. Therefore, adolescents are very likely to be motivated to develop themselves and become a well- educated generation in the future. Besides, entertainment stars are capable of making a great contribution to the socio – economic development of the country. They definitely can help to boost the national economy by means of making billions of dollars each year. These celebrities are also adept at promoting the country’s image to the world, which can boost the tourism industry. For example, thanks to the Korean Wave, Korea earned 15.2 billion USD from tourists, attracting 13.2 million tourists in 2015.
Another noteworthy point is that, paying professional workers more than those who work in entertainment industry can create inequality in the society. Entertainment stars are likely to assume that they are being treated unfairly despite their making far-reaching impact on the country. As a result, many strike or rebellions will take place, which definitely leads to a sharp rise in social evils and leave terribly long lasting influence on the society.
To sum up, I wholeheartedly believe that there should not be a fall in the salary of sports or other entertainment personalities. Professional workers also need to be provided a more reasonable income when they deserve.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 168, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'common knowledge'.
Suggestion: common knowledge
...opment of the society. Initially, it is a common knowledge that these celebrities who apply themse...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun strike seems to be countable; consider using: 'many strikes'.
Suggestion: many strikes
...ing impact on the country. As a result, many strike or rebellions will take place, which de...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, besides, but, if, nonetheless, so, therefore, well, for example, such as, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1708.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 316.0 315.596192385 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40506329114 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21620550194 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16611828572 2.80592935109 113% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.585443037975 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 541.8 506.74238477 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.6071566787 49.4020404114 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.866666667 106.682146367 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0666666667 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6 7.06120827912 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263797267256 0.244688304435 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795001365416 0.084324248473 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0806642413231 0.0667982634062 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175027462808 0.151304729494 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0803398266017 0.056905535591 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.4159519038 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 78.4519038076 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 9.78957915832 128% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.