Q14 Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, the question of what factors can contribute to individuals' success has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that devotion to work allows people to live a better life rather than money and appearance, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that fortunes and appearance are directly related to having an improved standard of living do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that people from wealthy families are capable of gaining opportunities not only to receive better education but also to operate their own businesses. Moreover, some of them are able to invest vast sums of money in the stock market, which could enable them to earn an astronomical amount of money. Furthermore, there are a multitude of celebrities who benefit a great deal from their appearance in modern society. To be more specific, influencers, such as fashion models and movie stars, achieve fame as well as wealth owing to their appearance with the development of mass media.
My opinion, however, is that dedication to work makes it possible for employees to have a high quality of life. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that working people spending huge amounts of time and energy on their occupations are more likely to become promoted to a high position at the workplace. As an illustration, although Kim Ki-Hun from South Korea who was born and raised in a poor area suffered from poverty in his childhood, he became a vice president in Samsung with the help of work commitments. In addition, workers who are passionate about their jobs can develop invaluable skills and acquire knowledge related to their duties, exerting a positive influence on their future careers. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that commitments to work help ordinary people to live a better life for the reasons discussed above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there...
^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that commitme...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 41.998997996 145% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1859.0 1615.20841683 115% => OK
No of words: 366.0 315.596192385 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07923497268 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37391431897 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77882822265 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 176.041082164 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.617486338798 0.561755894193 110% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 506.74238477 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.8811245999 49.4020404114 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.1875 106.682146367 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.875 20.7667163134 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.9375 7.06120827912 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231134802743 0.244688304435 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0655259155779 0.084324248473 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0494852627826 0.0667982634062 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137542011602 0.151304729494 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0521840167368 0.056905535591 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 50.2224549098 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.6 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 78.4519038076 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.