Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that, and do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

There has been a remarkable increase in the number of young people who spend their free times in shopping malls. There are a variety of possible reasons for this but steps can definitely be taken to tackle this problem. This essay will delve both reasons and solutions of shopping trend around teenagers. In my opinion, young people should be encouraged for other activities, such as art and sport.

Admittedly, after decades of speculation child psychologists were able to obtain fairly accurate information concerning why shopping become more popular around young people. The main reason of this is that young people become less dependent on their parents concerning money owing to part-time jobs, temporary jobs even YouTube. A good ilustration of this is that a lot of Turkish teenagers can easily gain money thanks to YouTube and they can buy everything whatever they want through this money. Shopping trend stem from not only economic independent but also advertisements because advertisements encourage young people to buy latest products . Hence, the government should be prudent concerning advertisements they must be prohibited by TV authorities

Despite these arguments, young people ought to be encouraged to spend their free times on beneficial activities, such as art, sport even computer programming. Music, drama and painting provide more creativity and productivity for young people and they can easily cope with complex issues thanks to these advantages. According to a report published by the New York Times, people who can play an instrumen more succfessful than his peers who spend their times in shopping malls. Secondly, parents ought to encourage their children to do a sport such as running, jogging even hiking because if teenagers spend their free times in these activites, they would be healthier. Thus, shopping addicted might be perilous for young people this problem must be solved with more useful ways.

In conclusion, even though a number of measures have been taken to tackle shopping addicted around the young people, the problem could not be solved yet. The decision as to whether they should be encouraged for other free time activities must be taken in the context of the entire family. However, in my personal view is that sport and art might be useful to solve this problem.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 628, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'buy the latest'.
Suggestion: buy the latest
...dvertisements encourage young people to buy latest products . Hence, the government should...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 647, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...rage young people to buy latest products . Hence, the government should be prudent...
^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...m could not be solved yet. The decision as to whether they should be encouraged for other fre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, as to, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 7.85571142285 229% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1956.0 1615.20841683 121% => OK
No of words: 373.0 315.596192385 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24396782842 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.20363070211 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69891543551 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517426273458 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 589.5 506.74238477 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5016740763 49.4020404114 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.25 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3125 20.7667163134 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4375 7.06120827912 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.67935871743 150% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20528014049 0.244688304435 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0756002441543 0.084324248473 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0375700741613 0.0667982634062 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135482881816 0.151304729494 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0141509110738 0.056905535591 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 13.0946893788 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 50.2224549098 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.