Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opini

Essay topics:

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individual are of the belief that celebrities are earning an exorbitant sum, and they left some scenes of violence on the <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-F7E070F50CF619BDCFD0947FBA9003F6" data-pwa-rule-id="MISSING_WORD_4" data-pwa-category="grammar" data-pwa-hint="Possible missing word" data-pwa-suggestions="children's" data-pwa-dictionary-word="children" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">children</pwa> behavior, while others argue that they constantly contributed in societies <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-B9851FEEE333C94C77D9E6AA3DB59A57" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_1603" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="which are " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">which are&nbsp;</pwa>convenient for them to gaining what they earn. I believe that <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-3BA5B03647653E8B0306E3A2848E1D31" data-pwa-rule-id="PASSIVE_VOICE" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="they overpay some famous figures~it overpays some famous figures~we overpay some famous figures~I overpay some famous figures" data-pwa-dictionary-word="some famous figures are overpaid" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">some famous figures are overpaid</pwa>, and they share negative habits. <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-8A0B128F671A455A34234B848BE01CE4" data-pwa-rule-id="PASSIVE_VOICE" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="I will present both point of views and my opinion~We will present both point of views and my opinion" data-pwa-dictionary-word="Both point of views and my opinion will be presented" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">Both point of views and my opinion&nbsp;</pwa><pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-8A0B128F671A455A34234B848BE01CE4" data-pwa-rule-id="PASSIVE_VOICE" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="I will present both point of views and my opinion~We will present both point of views and my opinion" data-pwa-dictionary-word="Both point of views and my opinion will be presented" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">will be presented</pwa> in the following lines.
To begin with, some actors, pop musician and football player are earning extravagant money. However, some of them introduce negative effects, and it could leave bad behavior on children mindset. A prime example, in Egypt, Mohamed Ramadan who work an actor, and he shared many movies reflect some violence actions which had caused many crimes between teenagers. Hence, some celebrities earn much money without apply any valuable prosperity in their countries.
One the other hand, some people believe that celebrities have a pivotal role in the societies, and it is <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-04CCA8B69AE894158F3DA5B2B85DA08D" data-pwa-rule-id="DET_CG_2" data-pwa-category="grammar" data-pwa-hint="Possible missing determiner" data-pwa-suggestions="a suitable~the suitable" data-pwa-dictionary-word="suitable" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">suitable</pwa> form them what they received. This is because <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-B622DDFAC59A15B50F95A0489E480083" data-pwa-rule-id="PASSIVE_VOICE" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="it always exposes their life" data-pwa-dictionary-word="their life are always exposed" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">their life are always exposed</pwa> to the media which <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-235D5F850FB7648420C163C266DA73FC" data-pwa-rule-id="PASSIVE_VOICE" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="" data-pwa-dictionary-word="are published" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">are published</pwa> in gossip news. <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-58337D56575F4EF77C89333AB10EB463" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_814" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: When" data-pwa-suggestions="When" data-pwa-dictionary-word="Moreover, when" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">Moreover, when</pwa> they are going out for shopping for instance, they always chased from their fans and photographers. Cristiano Ronaldo is a great example, because his fame which is widespread all over the world, he could be a target for most of newspaper to write on his daily life. This means that against fame, it effects on their private life.
In conclusion, although celebrities could not enjoy their own life, some of them paid much money and produce harmful content which is effecting youth mind. Personally, I believe that better remuneration should pay for those who doing much effort, such as doctors and teachers because their invaluable contribution in societies.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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...mark-done'>children behavior, while others argue that they constantly ...
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...To begin with, some actors, pop musician and football player are earning extrava...
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...ctors, pop musician and football player are earning extravagant money. However, ...
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...or on children mindset. A prime example, in Egypt, Mohamed Ramadan who work an a...
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...ren mindset. A prime example, in Egypt, Mohamed Ramadan who work an actor, and h...
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...-mark pwa-mark-done'>their life are always exposed to the media which ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, while, for instance, in conclusion, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 13.1623246493 175% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 7.30460921844 219% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 59.0 24.0651302605 245% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 5045.0 1615.20841683 312% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 532.0 315.596192385 169% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 9.48308270677 5.12529762239 185% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.20363070211 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 11.5189103321 2.80592935109 411% => Word_Length_SD is high.
Unique words: 264.0 176.041082164 150% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496240601504 0.561755894193 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1404.0 506.74238477 277% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 2.6 1.60771543086 162% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 5.43587174349 221% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.2975951904 138% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 216.010195204 49.4020404114 437% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 265.526315789 106.682146367 249% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.7667163134 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36842105263 7.06120827912 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.01903807615 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0533620935396 0.244688304435 22% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492638198028 0.084324248473 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0426385033426 0.0667982634062 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0917082558157 0.151304729494 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.065437545912 0.056905535591 115% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 37.2 13.0946893788 284% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -41.54 50.2224549098 -83% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.44779559118 213% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 26.0 11.3001002004 230% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 38.0 12.4159519038 306% => Coleman_liau_index is high.
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.51 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 151.0 78.4519038076 192% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 26.5 9.78957915832 271% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.1190380762 130% => OK
text_standard: 38.0 10.7795591182 353% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.