Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.To what extent do you agree?
As in modern society, it is assumed that adolescents are not exposed much to the world of jobs. Although others acknowledge that some education programs should encourage students doing part-time jobs while studying, some parents want their children to fully concentrate on academic study. Generally speaking, I disagree with this statement, having teenagers working as part-time employment.
To begin with, even though students attending a working environment may gain various working experiences and develop some technical skills, the side issues might affect the learner’s academic performances which will be discussed soon. Moreover, some students acquire mental stability in the real world from hands-on experience rather than in school. Therefore, this would be a major advantage for them to be familiar and more flexible with any tasks given for the future jobs. As a result, teenagers would establish a more fundamental foundation. For instance, young celebrities who start getting involved in the entertainment industry may have a greater base for their future performances than stars starting their debut in older ages. Younger celebrities can absorb various skills for easier access in complex situations through past working experiences.
On the other hand, students who start working at an early age might become overwhelmed. The working community might affect their studies, namely lack of concentration in lectures which cause stress, mental exhaustion, leading to poor efficiency in their academic results. Therefore, the lack of knowledge may be a disadvantage on a few prospects in future life time such as filling out the academic application for future jobs. For example, people in the illegal age range in Vietnam are still working due to family financial problems. By doing life threatening physical construction works to earn enough money for the time being.
All things considered, whilst gaining job experience, early temporary employment would deeply affect students being overworked which may reduce the effectiveness in study results. Needless to say, I believe that students should acknowledge their targets in studies are essential for building a “base” for a better future rather than acquiring work experience and consequently, I disagree with this statement.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...t their children to fully concentrate on academic study. Generally speaking, I di...
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...agers working as part-time employment. To begin with, even though students atte...
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...ances than stars starting their debut in older ages. Younger celebrities can abso...
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...ions through past working experiences. On the other hand, students who start wo...
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Suggestion: lifetime
...sadvantage on a few prospects in future life time such as filling out the academic applic...
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... earn enough money for the time being. All things considered, whilst gaining jo...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, while, for example, for instance, such as, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 10.4138276553 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 24.0651302605 71% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.3376753507 192% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1958.0 1615.20841683 121% => OK
No of words: 346.0 315.596192385 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.65895953757 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89640368939 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 176.041082164 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.612716763006 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 589.5 506.74238477 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4769365833 49.4020404114 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.375 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.625 20.7667163134 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.25 7.06120827912 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202806854933 0.244688304435 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0697759771761 0.084324248473 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478561977035 0.0667982634062 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135935811305 0.151304729494 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0515489601986 0.056905535591 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 13.0946893788 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.55 12.4159519038 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.61 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 78.4519038076 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.