today many celebrities are famous only because of their wealth and glamour. some people believe they can set a bad example for young people. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples.
It is argued that, modern celebrities have a negative influence for generation. Because, a lot of people consider that, popularity of most celebrities is nothing, but notoriety, as they known for their appearance and fortune. This essay agrees that, current famous personalities have a harmful effect on young people.
Firstly, day by day show-biz is so developing, that many celebrities gain their fame especially due to a great deal of money. This in turn could have a negative effect for children. They start believe that, it is enough to have much money in order to gain popularity. so, they could stop working hard even though they have a outstanding talent. Therefore it can be frustration for talented children who have not enough fortune. consequently the number of truly gifted celebrities will declined. as evidence, most modern popular pop-stars or film-stars are descended from reach family, while ordinary generation avoid to make a step into show-biz.
secondly, today's celebrities are well-known not for their professionalism, but for their exterior. they do anything to go on tabloids. all of their efforts is the subject to hype. image-makers provide that, their entire life will be in a blaze of publicity. obviously, most of generation imitate too their icons. they try to wear low-cut and flamboyant clothes as their favorite stars. that is the reason why most people in East try to have an image, which is not suitable to Eastern culture.
moreover, as most people achieve fame according to their glamour and fortune, their performance lose its own essence.
it means that, from their performance people cannot receive moral values. so the spiritual level of young generation will decrease.
in conclusion, modern celebrity set a poor pattern for young people. because, they become famous due to their fortune and appearance without hard working and talent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...eople. Firstly, day by day show-biz is so developing, that many celebrities gai...
^^
Line 2, column 229, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...start believe that, it is enough to have much money in order to gain popularity. ...
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Line 2, column 271, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: So
...much money in order to gain popularity. so, they could stop working hard even thou...
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Line 2, column 326, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...stop working hard even though they have a outstanding talent. Therefore it can be...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... though they have a outstanding talent. Therefore it can be frustration for talented chil...
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Line 2, column 431, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Consequently
...d children who have not enough fortune. consequently the number of truly gifted celebrities ...
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Suggestion: consequently,
...d children who have not enough fortune. consequently the number of truly gifted celebrities ...
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Line 2, column 488, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'decline'
Suggestion: decline
...number of truly gifted celebrities will declined. as evidence, most modern popular pop-s...
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Suggestion: As
...truly gifted celebrities will declined. as evidence, most modern popular pop-stars...
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Suggestion: Secondly
...on avoid to make a step into show-biz. secondly, todays celebrities are well-known not ...
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Line 3, column 99, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: They
...rofessionalism, but for their exterior. they do anything to go on tabloids. all of t...
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Suggestion: All
...or. they do anything to go on tabloids. all of their efforts is the subject to hype...
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Line 3, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Image-makers
...f their efforts is the subject to hype. image-makers provide that, their entire life will be...
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Line 3, column 258, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Obviously
...e life will be in a blaze of publicity. obviously, most of generation imitate too their i...
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Suggestion: They
... of generation imitate too their icons. they try to wear low-cut and flamboyant clot...
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Suggestion: That
...boyant clothes as their favorite stars. that is the reason why most people in East t...
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Suggestion: Moreover
...ch is not suitable to Eastern culture. moreover, as most people achieve fame according ...
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Suggestion: It
...eir performance lose its own essence. it means that, from their performance peop...
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Suggestion: So
...nce people cannot receive moral values. so the spiritual level of young generatio...
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Line 5, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...t receive moral values. so the spiritual level of young generation will decrease....
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Suggestion: In
...vel of young generation will decrease. in conclusion, modern celebrity set a poor...
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Suggestion: Because
...ty set a poor pattern for young people. because, they become famous due to their fortun...
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Line 6, column 132, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...mous due to their fortune and appearance without hard working and talent.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1582.0 1615.20841683 98% => OK
No of words: 302.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23841059603 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1687104957 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82800067629 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572847682119 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 490.5 506.74238477 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 5.43587174349 258% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 16.0721442886 137% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.2975951904 64% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.6702260532 49.4020404114 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.9090909091 106.682146367 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.7272727273 20.7667163134 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.90909090909 7.06120827912 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.38176352705 137% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 23.0 5.01903807615 458% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251217604657 0.244688304435 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0744355190873 0.084324248473 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0489922201593 0.0667982634062 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137307253453 0.151304729494 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0455479306894 0.056905535591 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 13.0946893788 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 50.2224549098 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.52 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 78.4519038076 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.1190380762 71% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.