Many people spend a lot of money on clothes haircuts and beauty products to enhance their appearance Some people think that it is a good way to spend money while others think that there is a better way to spend it Discuss both views and give your opinion

A majority of the general population, invest a lot financially, to enhance how they look and dress. Although some people think that if you have the money, spending it on looking good to boost both your self confidence and how others look at you is a good way to spend it, i, however, concur with those who believe that this money could be put into better use paying rent, fees or donating to charity.

Someone's self esteem is very vital to how they will live and interact with the general population. As a result, most people have resorted to investing tons of money on hair, makeup, and dressing. Rightfully so, as it boosts their confidence. For instance in the corporate world today, you will barely ever, run into a woman without make up, her hair well done, and dressed smartly. Some even venture further into the quest for beauty, eventually doing surgeries, to make themselves look better. This tend to be quite costly. However, this results in the individual feeling good about themselves, and allows them to be more productive at work thus its a good way to spend money.

However, I do believe that this money could be put to better use. In other words, there are so many people and things in the world that need financial aid that this money could go into and besides, the individual could save up the money and put it on studies or mortgage. As a way of illustration, in Kenya, to get a full face of make up could cost one about 4000 shillings. Moreover, you would still need to do your hair, nails and so many more on your body to be fully made up. Couple that with dressing and you're looking at almost 10,000 sh. This is equivalent to two months rent in most towns. Hence the whole process is rendered too expensive.

In conclusion, in as much as investment into how one looks so as to boost their confidence is a good way to spend money, I believe this hard earned money could serve a better purpose on education, rent or even charity organisations.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (5 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 648, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...them to be more productive at work thus its a good way to spend money. However, ...
^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
... made up. Couple that with dressing and youre looking at almost 10,000 sh. This is eq...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 599, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...alent to two months rent in most towns. Hence the whole process is rendered too expen...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 60, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...s much as investment into how one looks so as to boost their confidence is a good way to...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, hence, however, if, look, moreover, so, still, thus, well, as to, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 24.0651302605 150% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 41.998997996 126% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1617.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 356.0 315.596192385 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54213483146 5.12529762239 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43625167925 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542134831461 0.561755894193 97% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.6057331254 49.4020404114 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.1176470588 106.682146367 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9411764706 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.70588235294 7.06120827912 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282691601168 0.244688304435 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0762384775271 0.084324248473 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0916715338701 0.0667982634062 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199071381122 0.151304729494 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0731290867648 0.056905535591 129% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 13.0946893788 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 50.2224549098 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 12.4159519038 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.58950901804 90% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 78.4519038076 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.