Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.Discuss both these views a

Essay topics:

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These are those who claim that those who study in university ought to be allowed to pick any subject they wish. At the same time, many aver that students should take only those subjects that are beneficial for them. The second prospect is in accordance with my opinion. Below both points of view will be discussed in details.

On the one hand, giving students freedom of choice and allowing them to act on their discretion might bring them feeling of happiness and satisfaction but it seems that the proposal is plagued with same dire drawbacks. Perhaps, the most conspicuous one is that being a professional in any field assumes that the graduated students have acquired during education all needed knowledge but if they were given an opportunity to study whatever they want, it is highly possible that some information that is essential would not be absorbed because they did not like it. To illustrate, it is needless to say that a surgeon who preferred study astronomy instead of anatomy could not work or be called a professional. In other words, the first prospect seems to have a major flaw.

On the other hand, there are young people who are limited in their choice by authorities. This policy will guarantee that the alumni possess of needed skills and volume of knowledge. For instance, an architect will know maths, physics and how to draw and read blueprints. In other words, studying in university will turn yesterday students into valuable professionals who are able to perform their job well. Therefore, requiring the students to study only beneficial courses is reasonable and desirable.

To sum up, a freedom to study any subject may be perceived like an attractive proposal; however, its implementation could and probably would lead to many negative consequences that may be avoided if students’ choice of subjects is curbed by university personnel. Furthermore, ascribing their subjects will reassure that alumni will have all needed knowledge.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (4 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'freedom'.
Suggestion: freedom
...reasonable and desirable. To sum up, a freedom to study any subject may be perceived l...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, for instance, in other words, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 13.1623246493 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 7.85571142285 191% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 7.30460921844 233% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1656.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 324.0 315.596192385 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11111111111 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24264068712 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79908835073 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 176.041082164 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.561728395062 0.561755894193 100% => OK
syllable_count: 513.9 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 80.472327887 49.4020404114 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.4 106.682146367 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6 20.7667163134 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.66666666667 7.06120827912 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.390147487142 0.244688304435 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109813127791 0.084324248473 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0832770803834 0.0667982634062 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230408460159 0.151304729494 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0776770088355 0.056905535591 137% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 13.0946893788 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.4159519038 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

These are those who claim that those who study in university ought to be allowed
There are those who claim that those who study in university ought to be allowed

the graduated students have acquired during education all needed knowledge
the graduated students have acquired all needed knowledge during education

it is highly possible that some information that is essential would not be absorbed because they did not like it.
Description: 'it', 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.

This policy will guarantee that the alumni possess of needed skills
alumni will have all needed knowledge.
Description: 'alumni' is not used properly

Definitions of alumnus
noun
a graduate or former student, especially male, of a particular school, college, or university.
for example: a Harvard alumnus

Sentence: For instance, an architect will know maths, physics and how to draw and read blueprints.
Error: maths Suggestion: ?

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flaws:
1. wrong structure:

the second paragraph should be the advantages of 'study whatever they like'. While currently the second and third paragraph talk about the same thing.

correct structure:
para 1: introduction
para 2: advantages of 'study whatever they like'
para 3: advantages of 'only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future'
para 4: conclusion

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2.sentences are too long and not clear, look:

Perhaps, the most conspicuous one is that being a professional in any field assumes that the graduated students have acquired during education all needed knowledge but if they were given an opportunity to study whatever they want, it is highly possible that some information that is essential would not be absorbed because they did not like it.

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read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-ii-ielts-academic-essays/some…

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1606 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.682 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.124 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Hello
Firstly, thank you for you help! Without you, I would never get a high score in IELTS

but I have a couple of questions:
- may you give me some of advice how to write essays that will be scored 7-8? it seems that I write similar essays but I get different results. I could not grasp what I do wrong((
Please help me.

1)is wrong?
2) do I keep repeating my old mistakes or there are some new ones?
3) what should I do to address them?
4) is there any other options such as Skype conference, full analysis of essays? (I am just curious)

Thank you!
Eugene.

well, you repeat same mistakes. You will need to read all comments again for the advices we gave. Your main issue is not language, but structure. Read more sample essays and check out how other users are doing may help greatly. Essays from this user are highly recommended:
http://www.testbig.com/users/mabick1527

And sorry, we don't have other options like Skype conference.

There is a question.
Why do I have to write about advantages? may I say about disadvantages of one point of view and about advantages of another? or it is a wrong idea and I should be consistent in both paragraphs and thus speak about disadvantages of both or advantages of both?