Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation.
Why is this the case?
What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
There are some people who tend to believe that today’s youth have reached an unprecedented level of influence on contemporary world and I tend to agree with this prospect. Below some reasons and effects of the trend will be discussed in detail.
To begin with, spreading of the internet and computer technology might partly be responsible for the emergency of the trend. The web and computers in all their forms from desktops to e-tablets have penetrated almost all aspects of our life, moreover, many activities that used to take place off-line has become internet-based and the young generation that has been using the net since childhood is better at this. To illustrate, the economist has recent published a study that revealed that American politicians such as senators and congress persons accept more than 81 percent of correspondence by e-mail, and 85 percent of those letters were sent by young individuals who is, perhaps, more comfortable with computers. In other words, the current development of modern world has allowed young people to voice their needs and problems whereas older people who are less familiar with the computers are likely to struggle to convey their thoughts to politicians.
Secondly, growing influence of young individuals has allowed them to state their positions on many issues, and politicians who serve to the people must have to hear them. If we look at the contemporary world, we will see many improvements from environmental issues to gender equality. All those changes have created the social and cultural environment that suits more to the young and reflects that stances. So, computer savvy young people have tried to forge more fair and friendly world for themselves.
Finally, there is some disagreement and even resentment between older and younger generations who often have opposing points of view on many crucial issues but the struggle between those groups may be resolved via such democratic means as referendum. Probably, Brexit might be a proper example of it. In 2012 before the Brexit took place, the Telegram has published results of polls that revealed that the majority of older people want to leave the EU, at the same time, young individuals wished to stay within the European Union. The conflict was resolved via referendum. Thus, although there is a struggle for power between generations it is resolved through lawful means and procedures.
To sum up, growing influence of young people on the today’s society is obvious and spreading of modern technologies is likely to have contributed greatly to the development of the situation. The alteration has led to better representation of youngsters’ positions and some conflicts with older generation but those contradictions are being addressed via democratic means.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
today’s youth have reached
today’s youths have reached
will be discussed in detail.
will be discussed in details.
might partly be responsible for the emergency of the trend.
Description: 'emergency' is not used properly here
Definitions of emergency
noun
a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action.
your quick response in an emergency could be a lifesaver
synonyms: crisis, urgent situation, extremity, exigency, accident, disaster, catastrophe, calamity
many activities that used to take place off-line has become
many activities ... have become
young individuals who is,
young individuals who are,
growing influence of young people on the today’s society is obvious and spreading of modern technologies is likely to have contributed greatly to the development of the situation.
growing influence of young people on the today’s society is obvious, and the spreading of modern technologies is likely to have contributed greatly to the development of the situation.
Sentence: In other words, the current development of modern world has allowed young people to voice their needs and problems whereas older people who are less familiar with the computers are likely to struggle to convey their thoughts to politicians.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to voice and their
growing influence of young people on the today's society is obvious
the growing influence of young people on today's society is obvious
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flaws:
1. for 'Why is this the case?'---the second paragraph is enough.
2.for 'What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?'---the fourth paragraph is not right on the topic. It doesn't ask the solutions for the issue. we simply give two impacts, like:
impact 1: old people may feel depressed since they can't follow the new technologies.
impact 2: old and young people may have conflicts on ideas
3. No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
4. Be sensitive to use Second, Finally in IELTS essays, See, this essay topic has two questions, so Second, Finally are used for which question?
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2290 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.135 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.497 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 251, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the trend will be discussed in detail. To begin with, spreading of the internet...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, whereas, such as, in other words, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 10.4138276553 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 41.998997996 164% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2360.0 1615.20841683 146% => OK
No of words: 446.0 315.596192385 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29147982063 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90502673956 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 176.041082164 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.531390134529 0.561755894193 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 719.1 506.74238477 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 5.43587174349 18% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.1890619701 49.4020404114 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.823529412 106.682146367 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2352941176 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35294117647 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294127205832 0.244688304435 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0881921678273 0.084324248473 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0785459153737 0.0667982634062 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163494169352 0.151304729494 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0586001691296 0.056905535591 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 13.0946893788 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 78.4519038076 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.