7.Some young people are free in the evenings or have days off at school, which way can bring them the most benefit?
1)to accumulate work experience by a part-time job or volunteering in a community
2)learning to play a sport
3)learning to play a musical instrument
Nowadays, students are exposed to all kinds of things to do during their leisure time, from entertaining activities, learning new knowledge to accumulating experience. Learning to play a sport or musical instrument, with no doubt, benefits students a lot. However, only work or volunteer experience can enhance their competitiveness in looking for satisfying jobs and help them outcompete their peers. Therefore, I concede that accumulating work or volunteer experience is definitely the most beneficial thing.
Initially, abundant work and volunteer experience can serve as a certificate of students’ excellent abilities in specific field, which can help them find better jobs or get offers of their dream schools. On the one hand, doing internship or volunteer provides students a great opportunity to integrate what they have learned in class with practice, laying a solid foundation for their future career. On the other hand, students will meet a wealth of interesting and brilliant people while participating in these activities, make like-minded friends and even build life-long friendships. Take my friend Gilbert as example, apart from attending courses and doing assignments, he spent almost all his time in accumulating experience by part-time jobs in the financial field. So he gradually became expert at collecting industry data, reading financial reports efficiently and wrote in-depth reports of companies. When his classmates struggled to find jobs before graduation, he received lots of interview invitations of big companies such as Boston Consulting Group and Citi Bank. Showing his splendid resume and strong capability of industry analysis, Gilbert stood out among his competitors and finally got the offer from Citi Bank.
Admittedly, we cannot deny that students can relax themselves by learning to play a sport or a musical instrument. What’s more, they manage to maintain good health both mentally and physically by obtaining new ways to work out and enrich their lives. Thus, some people assert that it’s indispensable to laying sports or instrument in free time to please themselves. However, learning new things is so time and energy consuming that students cannot afford to sacrifice their precious time for it. As for me, I’m enthusiastic about music and have been longing for learning to play the guitar. However, I’m always bombard with a large amount of tasks, overwhelming by assignments, competitions and presentations. I’m considerably clear that accumulating experience by part-time jobs is the most critical thing now, for nothing can surpass the happiness that a well-paid job brings to me.
In conclusion, considering all the factors above, it is obvious to see my notion that accumulating experience by part-time jobs or volunteering performs more important role in students’ future development than the learning to play a sports or an instrument.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a sport' or simply 'sports'?
Suggestion: a sport; sports
...e development than the learning to play a sports or an instrument.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, however, if, look, so, therefore, thus, well, while, apart from, as for, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2488.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.59101123596 4.8611393121 115% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12633781489 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.577528089888 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 747.9 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.1311762366 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.947368421 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4210526316 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.329834024655 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0990973668008 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0636213040391 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211361518041 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0445412614086 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 11.7677419355 141% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.44 10.9000537634 142% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.21 8.01818996416 115% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.