In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues are more important than work and wealth. Do you agree or disagree with this?
The increasing pressures of today’s money-driven world can often cause people to gravitate towards material items. However, true personal happiness is rarely achieved through professional endeavours or wealth. Although these things may be nice extras, I agree that healthy relationships with family, friends and colleagues are the true keys to personal happiness. This will be shown by analysing the often lonely lives of many wealthy celebrities as well as the advice of older people who speak from experience.
Firstly, the lives of wealthy celebrities often illustrate that money cannot buy happiness. For example, many tremendously wealthy Pop icons, such as Daryioush Eghbal and Siavash Ghomeishi, suffer from debilitating depression often linked to extraordinary lifestyles that make it difficult to maintain friendships. As such instances show, money cannot be labeled an infallible precursor to happiness.
The manner in which it often isolates people suggests that human interaction in the form of family and friendships is much more likely than money to be at the foundation of lasting happiness in life. The advice from many older people regularly reiterates this. For example, all four of my grandparents claim their relationships with family and friends are the experiences that brought them the greatest happiness in their lives. As this is a common viewpoint among the aged of all countries and cultures, and because the aged simply have more experience with life, such an opinion needs to be given precedence when discussing this topic. Thus, human relationships are much more likely to be precursors to personal happiness than money or professional pursuits.
As seen above, professional success and wealth cannot buy true happiness and this is a realisation that all too often comes in old age. This essay has shown that the health of relationships with family, friends and colleagues is the genuine catalyst to lasting happiness. Thus, keeping in touch with people is much more than just a courtesy.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, may, so, thus, well, for example, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 43.0788530466 49% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1713.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 316.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42088607595 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21620550194 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94117097443 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.537974683544 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 522.0 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.294191047 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.2 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0666666667 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46666666667 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250574055576 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0901659813307 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081163634213 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162958743364 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0870555883714 0.0645574589148 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 10.9000537634 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.