New Era infiltrates fantastic information. It offers a fantastic utopia-like world for people. Due to the rapid development of Internet Technology, there’s a lot of tempting images penetrate all corners of society. The contemporary world is growing more sophisticated than before. Immense of information overwhelm individuals’ life, constructing a lot of invisible sugar traps. In my opinion, youths should learn how to manage and organize their life since grown in such this complex era.
First, everything is coaxing for young people to get into traps easily. Fancy images bombard everywhere, such as websites, televisions, billboards, and so on. They continuously seize peoples’ attention, enticing them to crave overspending. As a result, it will be a disaster. E-credit economic system is popular in youth communities, some commercial companies and institutions are focusing on cultivating young people to be used to have bad money habits which would destroy their lives in the future. Most of the youths don’t know how to manage their funds and organize their expenses. Therefore, when they realize that they don’t have enough capability to pay back E-credit bills, it would pull them to the awkward situation, or maybe worse like getting into the jail.
Second, various social media are like intangible rope clings individuals in many cross-prisons. The depression penetrates through every pore. It swallows up people’s time and energies, forcing them to live like a walking carcass, and losing their lives. The notification sound is like a scythe cut people's neck. The trend of youth communities has a powerful impact on kids. Two years ago, I randomly took a photo of the metro in Seoul. The scene in the picture is incredibly insane. All the people in my photo were watching on their mobile phone. Maybe some were chatting with their friends, or perhaps some were playing online games, all of them were dragging their face close to the screen. That's a pity; they don't even give a glimpse to appreciate the pretty landscape outside the window. Information flux drowns over peoples' head, making them can't also distinguish between the virtual world and the real world.
After analyzing various factors, consequently, I agree with the argument that youths should understand how to control their lives and make it better.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 699, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...ragging their face close to the screen. Thats a pity; they dont even give a glimpse t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 718, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...close to the screen. Thats a pity; they dont even give a glimpse to appreciate the p...
^^^^
Line 5, column 853, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...x drowns over peoples head, making them cant also distinguish between the virtual wo...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, such as, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1995.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 373.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34852546917 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94267160489 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.640750670241 0.524837075471 122% => OK
syllable_count: 615.6 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.878692222 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.8 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.92 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76 5.45110844103 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.106766356486 0.236089414692 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0268243249479 0.076458572812 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0377041108965 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0558221220949 0.150856017488 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0388559057925 0.0645574589148 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.81 58.1214874552 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 86.8835125448 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.