Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
Nowadays, education has become the top concern of modern citizens, recently, there is a heated debate on children should play toys or use the computer. Some people claim that it does not matter if they use a lot technology, as for me, I believe that kids should play simple toys or going outside instead of staying at home playing video games.
Firstly, playing some toys can increase their attention span. To be specific, those toys are designed very simple and handy, kids can easily know how to control it instead of being taught by adults, they are more confident when playing it. Also some toys like puzzles, building blocks, and balls are likely intriguing their interests and they are willing to focus on the game. Take my sister Lucy for example, when she was 6 years old, her parents gave her a puzzle as a birthday present. Ever since, she was obsessed with it, because she needed to find every piece by her own, and this gave her fulfillment once she completed the whole picture. Lucy always spent hours even a day to play it, this greatly increased her attention span, leading to better academic performance in the further. So when she went to high school, Lucy could focus on a problem for a very long time until she solved it. Thus, I am convinced that children should play some toys.
Furthermore, young pupils can make a variety of new friends by playing outside. To be exact, in this way, kids have the chance to know how to communicate with others. Some kids are usually immature to understand that they are not the center of the world. Therefore, playing outside with their friend and involving in team activities like playing football and finishing something together will give them the experience such as paying attention about other kids, talking with them face-to-face, and making compromises to achieve any common goal. By the contrary, if them just stay at home, playing video games, what they are facing is only a screen and well-designed characters. In this way, kids will live in a virtual world, and it makes them difficult to understand the real reaction and interaction in reality. In a word, I state that kids need to play outside.
In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, I still maintain that children should playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 241, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...hey are more confident when playing it. Also some toys like puzzles, building blocks...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...tate that kids need to play outside. In conclusion, from what has been discusse...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, so, still, therefore, thus, well, as for, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1920.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 399.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81203007519 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45518625016 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.573934837093 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8633971022 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.666666667 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1666666667 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.44444444444 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258494160105 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0818851082744 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.058443180361 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179587954454 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0417688498543 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.